


Element of Life

by BlueRaith



Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, F/M, Firebender!Asami, One Shot Collection
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-11
Updated: 2015-04-08
Packaged: 2018-03-11 17:04:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 27,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3331751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueRaith/pseuds/BlueRaith
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the wake of her mother's death, Asami forgets what firebending truly means. Mako and Korra will remind her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Fire

**Fire**

It is 8:00 at night. Asami and her mother have a tradition at bedtime. Yasuko reads her a chapter a night before bed and Asami tries to tell her _everything_ about her day as quickly as possible. Not because Yasuko Sato is impatient, but because Asami simply cannot hold it all inside any longer. At six, the girl is actually quite mature and level headed for her age, but there is something about finally getting to that last part of the day where it is just _them._ No more socializing with her father's partner's children, no more lessons, no more playing nice with that councilman's rude son. Her mother has finished the latest chapter of her book on the Hundred Year War. It is her favorite and they have read it together at least four times now. Yasuko has never complained though, it is her favorite story too.

“I did something today!” Asami bounces in her bed. She's been waiting all day to tell her parents about her new trick. Her father was busy at the company and her mother was entertaining guests.

“What did you do? I hope you didn't take apart my radio again,” Yasuko laughs at her daughter's excitement, but she is only partially kidding about her radio.

Her daughter looks like a younger image of herself, but the little girl is Hiroshi's daughter to the bone. Three times Yasuko has found her radio dismantled and the pieces laid out meticulously across the parlor floor. Her daughter had jabbered excitedly, just as Hiroshi does when he is brainstorming a new design, about wanting to learn exactly how it worked. Yasuko hadn't the heart to scold her. Instead she tasked her husband to fix each and every one of the appliances their daughter will inevitably dismantle. _Genius is sometimes a burden, dear._ She had told him that as they both bemusedly walked in on all three phonographs in their mansion in pieces. Hiroshi had only been able to recover two and they both realized they would be unable to curb Asami's curiosity. After that day it was agreed Hiroshi would start taking their daughter to his workshop and it had given their poor household appliances a much needed break.

“No, I already made it better,” Asami answers flippantly. Yasuko makes a mental note to have her husband check over her poor radio. Her daughter is clearly far more intelligent than either parent would have ever imagined, Hiroshi thinks she will eventually surpass him, but the girl still hasn't grasped proper wiring according to her husband. (“Though she is close.... Amazing, Yasuko. She's only _watched_ me rewire the phonographs!” This is when she realizes her family is made up of mad scientists.) In all likelihood, the radio will probably short circuit as soon as it is turned on.

“What did you do today, then?” She knew she should probably be more stern with the little girl, but Yasuko thinks a radio is a small price to pay for her daughter's desire to learn.

“ _This!_ ” And then there is a tiny flame nestled in Asami's hands.

For a moment, Yasuko is entirely shocked about her daughter's new trick. Hiroshi's family came from the Fire Nation, but there hadn't been any benders in his family for generations. She has long since become used to surprises, however. She had been surprised when the poor shoe shiner had asked to court her. Surprised when that shoe shiner turned out to be the smartest, sweetest man she had ever met, and became infinitely proud of, surprised when he turned their lives upside down seemingly overnight. Asami surprised her when she one day took her bedtime book and insisted she read to her mother that particular night at the tender age of four. _I did it by myself, Mommy!_ The little girl had said so when Yasuko had asked who had taught her because her little girl had indeed learned how to read.

Surprises were a near daily occurrence in the Sato homestead. Instead, Yasuko was happy for her daughter. The fire was a part of Asami and that was enough for her. The only reservation she had about her daughter's new skill was the realization that Hiroshi was going to have to baby proof his workshop again. She could vividly picture the shed destroyed and her two geniuses sheepishly explaining that they tried to make a fireproof fuel source. (“Yasuko, we could revolutionize the entire industry! Everyone would drive a Satomobile if they knew it was the safest, fastest and most efficient vehicle on the market today!” “I wanted to help Daddy!”) Not that Hiroshi would actually _use_ Asami for testing, the man really was protective over her, but Asami was notoriously independent and gasoline plus her now firebending daughter was a mixture that was sure to end in disaster.

That was a long discussion for tomorrow, however.

“Sweetie, that's amazing!” Yasuko enthused instead. It truly was, she had no idea why this gift was given to her daughter but it was here and she knew Asami would excel at it just as she did with everything else.

“I can be like Prince Zuko in the story! But less mean. I can be like him at the end of the story,” Asami decided. “Can I tell Daddy too?”

“Daddy won't be home until far past your bedtime. You can tell him tomorrow,” Yasuko wished her husband would come home sooner than he has in the past month. He was gone early in the morning as well, intent on perfecting the new line of Satomobiles before their release at the end of the month.

“We can go visit him at lunch tomorrow, and you can show him then.” She promises. Yasuko knew Asami is missing her father, she missed him as well, and the girl was going to go stir crazy if she had to hold in her surprise for long. Her radio would not be able to handle the stress.

“Do you think he'll like it?” Asami asks this because she wants him to be as excited as she is. Yasuko knows she is a daddy's girl at heart and his opinion has always meant the world to her.

“Daddy wants to make everyone's lives better with his inventions. What did the dragons show Prince Zuko and Avatar Aang when they visited them?”

“Fire is life,” the little girl answered quickly. They have read the book four times and Asami knew the story even better than Yasuko did.

“And fire makes a lot of Daddy's inventions work. He'll love it, sweetie,” she assured her. Really Hiroshi would love it because the fire was Asami's. He loved everything about their daughter.

She manages to get Asami to bed not long after that. Yasuko has no doubt that her meticulous daughter almost scientifically played with her fire today and exhausted herself. She would wait up for Hiroshi to come home, but she wouldn't tell him about their daughter. Asami wanted to have the honor herself and Yasuko would never dream of depriving her daughter of that joy.

Hiroshi would come home that night and the Agni Kai Triad would break in. Yasuko would perish trying to distract the men from her daughter's room. Asami would learn that fire was not life at all. She would not touch the element within her again for another twelve years, the book they read together never again opened and the radio would never get a chance to short circuit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that being a non-bender is a huge part of Asami's character. Her turning her back on Hiroshi would actually mean less if she turned out to be a bender. Her selfless and kind personality is all the stronger because of the fact that she looked the Equalist movement in the face and decided it was not equal at all from the standpoint of a non-bender. It's one of my favorite parts of the entire Avatar universe.
> 
> However, I was rewatching Book 1 for Last and First and I thought to myself, "Geez, how sad would it be if Asami was actually a bender and her father is pretty much telling her that he hates her very being simply because of what she is and not who she is? Has to be crushing." The thought wouldn't leave so here I am. This is an experiment of mine to see what Asami looks like as her canon, kind and open-minded self, but with the secret and hurt of being a firebender.


	2. Control

**Control**

She felt free when she went to the pro-bending stadium. Here were people that knew how to touch what lay within themselves. They weren't afraid, they clearly celebrated what they could do and Asami felt a little of that intoxicating feeling each time she went to a match.

Asami had avoided it at first. How could people enjoy a sport that involved pitting people against each other to fight? Bending could hurt, it could cut someone down in a moment, yet it wasn't until one of the board members at her dad's company invited them both to a match that she understood where they were coming from.

These people were in control. There were rules, order and organization. The exact opposite of her nightmares. Asami knew immediately why everyone in the stands loved this sport. She could watch other benders be themselves in an environment that was fun, competitive and temporary. There was no hurt to go home to years after the fact. In fact, she almost wanted to reach for her own element, before remembering exactly why that would be bad idea.

Asami was a logical person. She knew she shouldn't be as afraid of her own bending as she was, but she had felt this way for years and the fear seemed to mature with her. In those first few years after her mother's murder, she had thought it had been her fault. If she had not become a firebender, would her mother still be alive? It was a stupid thought. Like the coincidence of her bending would have changed the fact that the Agni Kai's wanted to break into her home that night. As she grew older though, the fire frightened her even worse.

There were nights, when she was alone, that she would try to reconnect with herself. She would come so close, but when she tapped into that warmth and almost remembered the joy she had felt that very first day, it would change. Suddenly it would feel _white hot._ It would burn and she would wonder if her mother had felt this heat as she was killed. And it would only reaffirm her decision to never bend again.

Yet, when she watched a pro-bending match, particularly one with one of her favorite teams, the Fire Ferrets were becoming one very quickly this season, she would forget those nights and how she would try not to remember how she had hid under her bed and heard her mother screaming and her father yelling and those men breaking things…. She wondered what they were thinking as they played sometimes.

This was really the perfect time to find out. She had run smack into her favorite player. Asami would have thought the entire experience hilarious if it weren't for the fact that she pretty much ran him over. One second the road was completely clear, the next Mako of the Fire Ferrets was lying in the street. Her father was always telling her to slow down, but she was so sure this sort of thing would never happen. She was the best driver in the United Republic if she did say so herself.

It was simple asking him out to dinner. Asami thought she would have been star struck, but she was a Sato and her father was always telling her that they didn't bow under pressure. In fact, it actually seemed _Mako_ had been more unsettled. She was used to people finding her attractive and it was so, so easy to use his attraction to fuel her confidence. It was really flattering that he thought that about her and it certainly didn't hurt that he was cute himself.

They were now taking a carriage ride through the park. It had actually been Mako's idea. Asami had no idea he was the romantic type. He seemed so gruff in his pictures in the paper. They had done nothing but talk today, getting to know each other and she was trying to gather the courage to get a little more personal in her questioning. She just so _curious_ about it, after all, and Asami often didn't let up until she had all the answers she wanted.

“What's it like in a match?”

She could faintly remember her own experiments in her mother's garden. Asami knew that she had accidentally discovered her bending by sheer stroke of luck. She had been pretending she was the Avatar, punched and fire came out. Instead of being frightened of the sudden ability, she had been intrigued. How did it work? Could she make shapes out of the fire? How hot did it get? That was about as much as she remembered. Those few, rather simple experiments and the general excitement that she could summon _fire itself_ in the palms of her hands. It wasn't as though she had any other time to play with it after that.

“Oh, well, it's all pretty exciting. You never know what your opponents will throw against you. My team and I, we always have to think of strategies to stay ahead of the competition,” Mako answered. He probably got this question a lot. It sounded a bit too much like it belonged in a newspaper interview.

It was probably to be expected. It wasn't as if they knew each other too well yet. She would try to ask him again when they were closer and he wouldn't default to the answers he gave everyone else. Asami wanted to know _everything_ about it. She knew this probably wasn't healthy. Living vicariously through Mako's feelings, but this was probably the only way she would experience firebending beyond the _heat_ and _pain_ of that night.

Instead she asked him why he didn't seem to like the scarf she got him. Asami now knew that her new boyfriend wasn't very well off. That didn't bother her at all, from her father's own stories, it seemed their family had very humble beginnings. Other children her age had been very pretentious and 'new money' was a term that was often thrown at her. Her father had _never_ allowed her to think like those children and she had never wanted to. She just wanted to give him something he would like. Mako seemed to really like his scarf and she figured he would appreciate one that wasn't so careworn.

But it was his father's and she understood sentimentality. Her mother's radio was her favorite paperweight. She hadn't ever opened it again, or even turned it on, but she liked to look at it sometimes. They told each other how they had lost someone, or someones in Mako's case, they had cared about and it made her even more curious than she already was. She actually hadn't been able to stop herself from voicing her question, much to her embarrassment.

“How are you able to firebend after that? I-I'm _so_ sorry! You don't have to answer that if you don't want to,” she buried her face in Mako's scarf. Hoping the carriage's seat would drop out from under her.

“No, it's okay! I don't really mind. I guess I never really thought of it like that. I really learned what I could on the streets because I had to take care of me and Bolin. It kept us warm during cold nights and it helped get me money when I needed it. I guess I was more concerned about surviving and I had to put thoughts like that out of my head. Bolin was counting on me,” Mako said thoughtfully.

“You're amazing,” she told him. He was, Asami didn't know if she could pull off what he did.

“I don't know…. I mean, I'm sure other people have done what I had to. Me and Bolin aren't the only orphans in the city,” Mako said bashfully.

“Other kids probably went to an orphanage. Or they're triad members now. Mako, you made sure you and your brother made it out of that life. _Together._ I don't know how many orphans have done that, but it can't have been many,” Asami said seriously. He was brave enough to use the weapon that cut his parents down to provide a life for his little brother. Asami couldn't even use it to keep her warm during winter. He was leaps and bounds braver than she could ever hope to be.

“I really don't think of it like that. I just wanted to keep Bo safe,” Mako said uncomfortably.

She didn't want to make him too uncomfortable. As long as he knew what she thought, that was enough for now. Maybe she could convince him of just how great a person he actually was later, but Mako was so shy about this kind of thing, Asami was quick to discover. It was cute, but Asami hoped that he would get better at accepting compliments.

For now, she steered the conversation to an end and simply rested her head against him. He had given her much to think about. Sometimes Asami marveled at just how differently people could think about a subject. It often came up at work. Having to collaborate with her father's engineers to find an even better draft design for the newest lines of Satomobiles and discovering that they all had vastly different ideas. It was fun trying to gather the best of those ideas and incorporating as many as possible. She wondered if she could do the same here. Sometimes it hurt feeling the fire that burned beneath her skin and trying to ignore it completely.

Mako had moved past his trauma. Why couldn't she? Did she need someone to take care of? Was it that he had needed his bending to survive? He even used it for fun in the arena, how was he able to do it? Asami had seen every match his team had ever played. Mako definitely didn't use firebending like he wanted to utterly destroy his opponents like she had seen from other players. He was aggressive, but not overly rough. In control. Nothing like those triad members had been that night. It was foreign to what firebending had been in her memories. She didn't hate other firebenders. Many of them were like Mako, she knew. Some of them were very similar to him in the arena, after all. But she couldn't seem to adopt their mentality.

Asami supposed she would just have to be happy with the talents she was able to actually control. She loved engineering and she helped create some of the greatest mechanical marvels the world has ever seen if she did say so herself. Her parents had always appreciated her mind and she knew her mother would be proud of what she had done and her father told her he was also proud as much as he was able. Would her mother be afraid of her bending? She knew that she had been supportive of her when she had shown her mother on that last night. She remembered that vividly. But would that have changed if she lived? Was she afraid as she died? Asami certainly would never blame her if she was. What happened to her was awful.

These were questions that she would never get answers to and she hated those kinds of questions. They were best brushed aside and not thought about, but she knew that would probably never happen. She had tried to ignore them for twelve years and they kept coming up. Maybe it was like the fire inside her. Always there and stoking up repeatedly as she wondered what it would be like to let go of the vise-like strangle hold she had on it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like that Asami doesn't hate benders like her father in the series. I didn't want to take that away from her, her open-minded personality is my favorite aspect of her. Instead, I decided to make her fear of firebending more personal and introspective rather than allowing it to mar her opinion on other firebenders.


	3. Fear

**Fear**

It was a pleasant surprise that her father wanted to watch the Fire Ferrets's championship match with her. Asami didn't think he particularly liked pro-bending and he was always busy with Future Industries. Occasionally he would come out with her if she asked, but Hiroshi preferred spending time in his workshops. Maybe he wanted to support Mako after Asami had impressed on him just how unfair it was that his team was going to be kicked out of the tournament. That and to see if his investment would pay off. Asami had no doubt that it did. Despite being the underdogs, the Fire Ferrets had garnered more than a few fans this season with their quick rise through the ranks and this was sure to mean good things for Future Industries as well.

She had thought that Mako, Korra and Bolin stood a great chance against the other team. They certainly had the talent to win. But the match was clearly rigged. Asami could hardly believe it. How could the Wolf-bats get away with something so clearly _blatant_? Mako and his team had worked _so hard_ to get to this match, only to have it ripped away from them.

“This is awful. How are they getting away with this? Wouldn't the league step in? This could ruin pro-bending's reputation,” Asami said hotly.

Her father sighed next to her. “I suspect the Wolf-bats make them too much money for them to care. I think they will eventually have to… answer for this.”

Asami hoped so. Maybe this year there would be enough frustration from the fans to force an inquiry. She had already known the Wolf-bat's reputation, apparently they have been cheating practically every year they've made the championship and growing more blatant each time. Asami had not actually watched them play in one yet, however. She already didn't like them for their ruthlessness.

Though she never would have considered that they would have to answer for their cheating immediately after the match. It had been such a wash. The Fire Ferrets played the best that they could, lasting much longer than most teams had been able to years previous, but they were eventually beaten with clearly illegal shots to the head. It was ridiculous. And then the Equalists were suddenly in the middle of the arena.

She had heard of them, everyone had. Mako had told her that they had actually kidnapped Bolin and had almost taken his bending. Asami had almost thought he was crazy when he told her, but Mako was always so serious and he would never lie about something like that. Still, she wondered how that was even possible and why anyone would want to do that to another person. Asami knew she was afraid of her bending. She hated that she was, but it was still a part of her. Over time, and on good days, it simmered within her. Always there and she could scarcely remember a time when it wasn't. Really, if she thought about it, she supposed it had _always_ been there. Did it hurt when it was taken away? Benders like Bolin, Mako and Korra actually _loved_ their bending. She could see it every time they played in the arena. It would probably devastate them to have it ripped away and Asami felt guilty that she wasn't sure if she would feel the same way if it happened to her.

There was a commotion outside of their box and then an Equalist burst in, threatening to shock them as electricity danced throughout the stadium, the metalbending police dropping to the ground. It was unbelievable. The last she had heard of the movement, before Mako had told her anything, was in the newspaper about Equalist protesters disturbing the peace. How were they able to do this?

Asami went to stand, she was certain she would be able to do something about the Equalist who _thought_ he could threaten her and her father, but Hiroshi was quick to restrain her.

“No, Asami! I don't think he will do anything. They aren't here for us.”

“What? Do you really want to take that chance? Dad, they're attacking innocent people!”

What was the point of learning to defend herself if she was going to act like a wallflower when she was actually threatened? Asami certainly didn't know this man's intentions, but she didn't want to find out. She didn't want to hide again.

“I _will not_ have you in danger if you can avoid it, Asami,” he sounded so fierce and suddenly it occurred to her what this must look like to him.

He didn't want her to become her mother.

Her death was hard on both of them, but Asami still remembered how he looked right after that night and through her funeral. He looked so lost and defeated. Of course, she was too young to realize that about him then, he simply looked _sad_ to her. Sadder than she thought was possible for someone to feel, and then he wasn't ever home. It took a long time for him to remember her again and when he did, the guilt was so palpable to her six year old self, that it was impossible not to forgive him. All she really wanted was that he would never be so distant again.

And so she sat, begrudgingly, and was forced to watch as Amon and his Equalists took the Wolf-bat's bending. Truthfully, a part of her still found the prospect unbelievable, but here she was forced to see it with her own eyes. And it made her realize that she _did not_ want that to ever happen to her. She could see the players twitching and falling limp clearly from here and it certainly gave her the answer to her previous question.

Amon was speaking now. It was about equality and how the benders were oppressing non-benders, about how they would change the world. It made her feel sick. This was about as far away from equality as it could be, in her eyes. Asami absolutely failed to see how a terrorist attack, threatening sports fans, and assaulting three people who were only guilty of cheating in a _game_ at the end of the day, could be considered a pursuit of equality. And they wanted to spread this outside of Republic City, to more innocent people that never asked for any of this. Who actually _wanted_ a revolution? Asami was a bender, but she didn't live like one. She knew that things were unfair in the city, but that didn't mean attacking people was the answer.

She realized that this had been going on now for a while. Where were Mako, Bolin and Korra? They had fought against the Equalists before, Asami didn't think they would stand for this and Korra was the Avatar. Asami was beginning to worry that they had been captured. Would they be next to lose their bending? Were they hurt?

The Equalists were leaving. An airship had shot grapple lines through the roof and they were making their escape, blowing up the arena floor beneath them. That was when Korra finally appeared, riding a massive water twister. Asami breathed a sigh of relief at that. She doubted Korra would leave their friends behind if they were in any danger.

“We should leave,” her father finally spoke beside her.

“No, I want to see if Mako and Bolin are okay,” she protested. He didn't think she would leave them, did he?

“We don't know if there are anymore Equalists here,” he reminded her.

“Dad, I think we'll be okay, the police are coming around. I don't they'd stay to get captured.”

She didn't stay to see if he'd argue more and hurried off to find her way to the stands. Hopefully her friends would see her, she didn't know where they were at the moment. Once she got there, she could see Korra fighting the Equalists on the roof, if the streaks of fire were any indication. Mako and Bolin were already here, thank goodness.

“Mako!”

“Asami? What are you still doing here?” He asked seriously.

“I wasn't going to leave until I knew you were okay,” she told him stubbornly. Honestly, if there was one thing Mako and her father had in common it was that they were both overprotective over her. She could handle herself.

Mako looked like he was about to argue, but Bolin interrupted any argument that he may have wanted to start.

“You think there's an easy way to get up there from here? It would be easy if we were in our apartment, but I don't think we'll have time to get there before anything happens….”

They were trying to help Korra. Asami wouldn't have expected anything different from them. It was just like Mako and Bolin to want to do _anything_ they could to help Korra, while she hid from herself. It came to her then, that her friends and boyfriend were the people that the Equalists would focus on. She was in no real danger, not compared to them. No one knew Asami Sato was a bender. The only person she had ever told took it to her grave. Asami had never felt more like a coward than she did in that moment. What right did _she_ have to be afraid of what the Equalists could do to benders? Goodness, Korra had just jumped after them without a thought and she was the Avatar. The ultimate representation of benders and undoubtedly the person the Equalists hated the most. Mako had told her she had even challenged Amon directly to a duel. Which was probably not the smartest move she could make, but she was certainly braver than Asami was.

“Korra!” Mako cried out and disrupted her self-loathing.

She was falling through the ceiling and apparently couldn't stop her fall. The arena floor was directly below her, so she was unable to summon any water and Mako had told her that Korra had come to the city to learn airbending. Asami was beginning to fear the worst, when a tell-tale metal cable shot through the smoke and wrapped around the Avatar's waist. Chief Beifong shot through the air and arrested their fall with one of the banners the Equalists had arrogantly dropped.

They all breathed a sigh of relief and Mako and Bolin ran to presumably check if Korra was all right. Master Tenzin was also there. Asami hadn't known he had come to the match, but that would make sense if he feared the Equalists attacking like they did tonight. Korra was his charge, after all. Asami didn't join them. She knew her father was probably upset with her for running off. Not to mention that she had driven them, much to his reluctance. Her father didn't particularly like her driving style. It was too dangerous in his opinion. Asami thought he needed to shake it up more.

That and, well, she didn't think she had any right to be here after all. It wasn't as if she could have made any difference tonight. She cowered in her box, despite being able to beat the stuffing out of the Equalist, while her friends were in danger. While they dealt with the threat and she sat and watched as the Equalists threatened benders like them. Like her. How long could she afford to hide to hide her bending before the guilt tore away at her. She _wanted_ to not be afraid. Asami Sato was afraid of very little in reality. In retrospect, she knew that she had very little reason to actually try to bend again. It wasn't as if there were any madmen threatening people she cared about before, but she still could not shake the feeling that if she was only a little stronger, that if she would only let go of her mother's death and lived in the _present,_ that she could actually do more to help.

She would do what she could at least. Mako and Bolin lived in the stadium, she knew. They would need a place to stay. She hoped her father wasn't too mad at her right now, because she knew she was probably only going to upset him more tomorrow when he found out about their new tenants.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy craaaap, this chapter was hard for me to write. I actually have a whole other start to what I guess was the prototype of this chapter that I abandoned. That doesn't tend to happen very often. Usually stuff just comes flying off the keyboard when ideas hit me.
> 
> Shameless self-promotion real quick, I have finally done something with the Tumblr I've had for the past, like two years. (Seriously, that thing sat empty, but my sister helped me with it the other day so now it doesn't look sad and I have some ideas about what I want to do with the thing.) I've decided to put any "deleted" stuff for my fics there, do the typical re-blogs and likes and once I get close to finishing either of the fics I already have, probably do some prompts if anyone is interested in sending me any. So, yeah, it's blueraith.tumblr. I also need some blogs to follow. I have like seven. My dashboard is super empty.
> 
> Anyway, this chapter. It was hard. I don't like hard chapters because the effort just isn't the same from my part. I try too hard and things come out rather stilted and I don't feel like I do the narrative any justice. So, I had to put it down for a couple of days. (I had actually started writing as soon as I posted the most recent chapter of Last and First.) I knew I wanted a chapter that takes place during And the Winner Is.... Mostly because Asami and Hiroshi are actually there. Consider the fact that Hiroshi went to the match with his daughter, who he knows loves pro-bending, to watch her boyfriend and her friends play. And he does not say A SINGLE THING about being tied to the Equalists. He's building their weapons and probably helping fund them considering his wealth, so I imagine he knows what's going to happen. I mean, that's pretty damn cold, yet he's doing it for his wife and Asami, so he has a vested interest in her safety and we all know Asami doesn't exactly shy from danger. Danger he had to pretend is actually real because I'm sure he and Amon set it up to make it look like he was being threatened just like everyone else.
> 
> So, where the chapter was taking place was pretty easy. What was a pain in the ass was what I figured Asami was thinking throughout the entire thing. What did I want to focus on? At first I wanted more attention on Korra because I figured the Avatar would be a little more important to a bending!Asami. But it came off too fan-worship-y and I knew that wasn't Asami. I wanted some commentary on Hiroshi, but it was forced and stilted and there was too much because I hadn't found a lynch-pin to wrap the chapter around yet. So I flipped my computer desk (not really) and went to work instead.
> 
> It wasn't until I was there that it finally occurred to me to write from Asami's sense of justice. She's got a pretty big one, considering that she uses it to fight her father's twisted lust for revenge (that in all honesty probably STARTED as his own sense of justice until it was warped by his bitterness at his wife's death; Asami probably gets hers from someone) and renounces him. She doesn't like the Equalists. Why? Why doesn't she hate benders? Compassion, sympathy and empathy are huge character traits for her. Minus her angst about her bending, I think this is something similar to what she was actually thinking at the time in canon.
> 
> Let me know what you think. :)
> 
> P.S. I totally did not realize I wrote a pun.


	4. Lies

**Lies**

Asami couldn't believe it. How could people even think her father could be an Equalist? He was helping them with the investigation over the attack on the pro-bending arena, for goodness sake. Not to mention the fact that Asami was there with him the entire time and he had been just as clueless as she was. She honestly had no idea why Korra was accusing her father of being involved.

She really didn't know where this was coming from. Was it something she had done to make the Avatar angry? Last she knew, they had been getting along fine. Asami had picked up on the fact that Korra didn't seem to like her very much, she didn't know why, but Asami had thought she had taken care of that earlier that day on the track. Korra had even told her that she had been wrong about her. That she didn't think she was just a prissy, rich girl. So where on earth was this coming from?

Her father was being so calm about this too. Asami didn't know how he did it. His lack of concern only indicated to her that she apparently had a lot more to learn before she would be ready to take over Future Industries some day. If he could handle this with a laugh, then Asami shuddered to think how he handled hostile business meetings. His attitude certainly explained why her family's company was at the top of the market.

If she was honest about this, however, the real reason she was so upset about the lies being leveled at her father was that she couldn't imagine him ever being so hateful. He had never given any indication that he hated benders over the years. That her mother's death had affected him like that. If anything, her death only seemed to make him work harder and make him a little more protective over Asami than he had been before the break in. In reality, the only reason she had never told him about her bending was not because she thought he'd be angry with her, but because she didn't want him to be afraid like she was. They both had nightmares after her mother's death. It was understandable, it had been so ugly that day. It wasn't like Asami could even bend anyway. Why bring it up if it would only stir up unwanted feelings?

But that didn't mean that she wasn't automatically insulted at the thought that her father could ever hate her just because of what she was. That he'd hate _anybody_ over the simple fact that they'd been born with something they didn't necessarily ask for. How was that logical? She and her father were engineers. They preferred problems with firm answers. Logical conclusions. What was logical about hating an entire group of people over _what_ they were? A triad member murdered her mother. A criminal that deserved to be locked away for his crimes and was. There was no need to punish innocent people over something that would never change.

“You're still upset about yesterday,” her father commented as they worked on one of his Satomobiles together. They did this occasionally. Spent an afternoon in the workshop, building or fixing something together. After her father had realized he had been neglecting her after her mother's death he had resolved to do this with her as often as possible. It was only in the last few years that he had started to become too busy again. Asami figured he had something very important he was working on. Probably a new invention and she was waiting to find out what it was.

“Well, yes. I can't see why you aren't. The radio is saying all kinds of things about you. It isn't fair and it isn't right,” she said hotly.

“The radio is always going to be saying _something_ about me. It's not anything new. As for the accusations, well, they will blow over in time. They aren't going to find anything, Asami,” he said reassuringly.

“I know that and you know that. It's just… I don't understand where this is even coming from. How can they just accuse you of working with the Equalists just because you're a non-bender? Where is the proof?”

“It seems Chief Beifong and Councilman Tenzin only have the Avatar's word to base anything on. If that's the case, then this will be over even faster. You don't have anything to worry about, Asami,” he grinned.

“I'm not exactly worried. Just mad, I guess. I don't know why Korra is doing this. She seemed so nice when we met her, and Mako and Bolin don't know what's up with her either. Or if they do, then they aren't telling me. Mako is even more upset with her than I am,” Asami told him.

Hiroshi laughed. “Then he must be _very_ angry. Sweetie, I can handle this. It isn't going to hurt me. If anything, this will probably only hurt the police force.”

“But you shouldn't _have_ to. They should know that you're innocent in all of this. You were with me at the arena. Future Industries had held all kinds of charities for _everyone,_ not just non-benders. Our family has never given any sign that we hate benders or anything. Even after what happened. Mom would hate this most of all,” she muttered.

“The city is frightened right now. I'm afraid they're only reacting like this because they're desperate for answers. Once I'm cleared in everything, things will go back to normal faster than you know it. You are right, though. If your mother was here, then I hesitate to even think about the argument she'd get into with Chief Beifong. I'd probably have to bail her out of jail,” her father laughed.

He didn't talk about her very often. It almost always made him sad. Asami remembered that it took him until her seventh birthday to even reference her. He told her that day that her mother would have wanted to be with them more than anything after Asami had told him she missed her. Like then, he was probably trying to make her feel better. Asami remembered so very little about her mother in comparison and it made her wish differently almost everyday. If she remembered more about her mother, would she be able to bend again? How did she _know_ whether or not her mother would be afraid of her bending? Asami placed so much stock on that, on the thought that the heat inside her probably terrified her as she died, that it absolutely paralyzed any attempts to bend. And she didn't even know if that were true.

What was even worse, was that she knew she probably only needed to ask her father for the truth. He probably knew whether or not Yasuko would have been able to handle her bending if she lived that night. But she couldn't even bring it up. It was all so illogical. She had no _real reason_ to think this way. To be so afraid and cowardly. It didn't make any sense and it made her angry to even think about. So she would push it all away. Again. She didn't want anger any where near her memories of her mother, the few that she had at any rate. And she didn't want to get into her hiding the truth from her father. That would probably only hurt his feelings. He would feel so badly that he was unable to help her with this for all these years.

“You think so?” She asked instead. “I've always remembered Mom never getting angry. Even after I took apart her radio again. She wanted to listen to her soap operas and I wanted to make them sound even better. I think she actually missed that episode since I couldn't put it back together in time.”

“Oh no, your mother could have quite the temper if someone pushed her to her limit. I think you were probably her only exception. She loved letting you wreak havoc on our appliances. She didn't want to stop you from learning anything that you could. Not to mention punishing _me_ for working too late at the same time. She was very crafty like that,” her father smiled gently as he remembered his wife.

Asami loved seeing him like this. She always thought that he probably adjusted better to losing Yasuko than she ever did. Neither of them could talk about her too often, so they were even in that respect. But at least there was nothing haunting her father everyday. He didn't have to be afraid that she would have feared him. He wasn't afraid of himself, and whether or not he could ever prove her mother at being right to fear himself.

“Really? I'm sorry, Dad. I never thought about what happened _after_ I broke everything. I thought you were having just as much fun as I was,” Asami laughed.

“Well, I think I was only really upset that time you took apart all three of the phonographs we _used_ to own. I could never figure out what possessed you to disassemble all of them, one would have been enough. It was only after you started to ask me every question under the sun about them that I realized you were going to be an even better engineer than I am. Then I started having fun,” he said fondly.

“I don't know about that,” Asami said modestly.

Her father was the most brilliant man she had ever known. How could she even hope to create something as great as the Satomobile was? In twenty years, his invention has achieved global dominance and Asami knew he was working on something that was going to probably match that. He wouldn't tell her what it was yet and that only told her that it was going to be amazing.

“I do. Asami, you're going to take Future Industries farther than I can even imagine one day, I already know it.”

On the one hand, she appreciated that he thought of her that way. However, he didn't know that she was lying to him everyday. That she wasn't as great or as brave as he probably thought she was. It made her feel sick. Her father was so fearless. He took the world on and brought them products that challenged their expectations and what people _thought_ they wanted everyday. Asami didn't know how she could ever hope to match that. She loved working for Future Industries. She knew that her father would be proud of whatever she would accomplish. But she had no delusions of grandeur. She would succeed, but she would probably never be as amazing as he has been.

There was no reason to tell him all of this, though. It would probably only break his heart and Asami figured he already had enough of that for a lifetime. It wouldn't hurt him to think the world of her, she knew. All fathers probably did that anyway. Asami would continue to lie by omission. It was what she did everyday and she was very good at it by now. She would just continue working on this Satomobile with him and forget about all of this. He was right, after all. Everything was going to blow over and things would go back to normal. The city would find the real person behind the Equalist weapons and they would stop them and everyone wouldn't be so afraid anymore. Maybe Korra would actually tell her what in the world she was thinking when all of this blows over. Asami certainly thought she deserved an explanation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sato family fluff! That only ever means one thing coming from me, guys. I really, really like writing relatively happy stuff with them right before shit hits the fan. Why? Because I'm horrible and I think it makes their story even worse (read better) when you consider the fact that Asami and Hiroshi actually love each other. Can you imagine just how crushed Asami's going to be when she finds out Hiroshi was lying to her face? I can, because I'm already thinking about the next chapter. But seriously, I'm not putting them through this just because I'm masochistic. I actually have some plans for Book 4 that will make all this worthwhile. Oh, man and Inheritance? Whew, that's going to be fun too. I swear I don't like torturing characters for the simple fun of it. I'm a sap for, at the very least, relatively happy endings. I just like exploring characters. And sometimes that means running them over with the Tragedy Bus. Last and First won't be immune from that bus either. (I'm not a psychopath. I promise. Stop looking at me like that.)


	5. Betrayal

**Betrayal**

It was only hours after she and her father had finished in the workshop when the metalbenders burst through the mansion doors. This was simply unbelievable, Asami didn't know why this had to happen to her family. The city was absolutely determined to make her father out as some madman.

“What are you doing here?!” She demanded angrily. And then Chief Beifong told her about a _secret factory underneath her house._ Asami was beginning to wonder if the chief of police was being bribed in some way. How on _earth_ could she have missed a factory underneath the mansion? She had lived here her entire life, this notion was just preposterous, it wasn't even funny.

Regardless, she was made to lead the police to her father's workshop. Asami was almost glad to do it, though. Maybe they would finally be happy in being so hopelessly wrong about her father that they would leave him alone. He didn't deserve the stress that was probably being piled on him, no matter what he had claimed earlier in the day. It was bad enough that they insisted on searching all of Future Industries' properties and disrupting their company's business. Asami didn't even want to think about employee morale, thinking that the most progressive and powerful industrialist company in the country could be tied to a terrorist movement. She really wouldn't be surprised if her father took legal action if this charade took much longer.

Councilman Tenzin and Korra were with Chief Beifong. Asami was surprised that the airbending master was going along with this for so long. As far as she knew, he had always been a voice that advocated equality between non-bender and benders in the open council meeting that she would read about in the paper. Maybe that changed during the closed sessions. Korra's presence made her more than a little upset. She still didn't know what the Avatar seemed to have against her and her father. Making up that ridiculous story to begin with and dragging them into this mess. Why was she lying about her father? Mako wouldn't tell her what he thought and Bolin looked uncomfortable whenever she would bring up the subject. They knew something that she didn't and they didn't want to tell her. If she hadn't already been so upset with Korra to begin with, she probably would have been angry with the brothers, but really, she was so tired of this. Asami wanted it all to be over.

With all of this going through her mind, it was a shock to find out that her father wasn't in his workshop at all. That was more than a little odd. He had asked her a few hours ago to give him some time alone so that he could work on some of his newest inventions. Asami had wanted to help, but sometimes her father could be so secretive when it came to his newest ideas. It was something she had long since learned not to take seriously. He had once told her that he wanted to be spared the embarrassment of all of the earliest prototypes spectacularly failing in front of other people. He often spent hours in the workshop like that, so why he was gone was a mystery to her. Asami couldn't even think of where he could have gone, tunnel-vision was something they had in common when it came to work.

The metalbending police quickly fanned out into the workshop, confirming that her father wasn't in sight, and that was when Chief Beifong stepped forward, claiming that he was probably somewhere they _couldn't_ see. It was as if she was so desperate to find him there that she was willing to make up conspiracy theories on the spot.

But then she had bent the floor out from the shop and revealed a secret tunnel. That was the point Asami began to question things.

“I-I don't understand. There must be some explanation,” she said dazedly. Why was there _a secret tunnel in her father's workshop?_

Korra stepped forward and put a hand on her shoulder. “Maybe you don't know everything about your father. I'm sorry,” she said sadly.

She sounded so sincere and Asami was beginning to think that Korra might not have made up her story at all. Though maybe she had still misheard. Perhaps there was another reason her father had built this tunnel. Maybe it was meant as an evacuation route from the mansion if anyone ever broke in again. There could be other tunnels throughout the grounds, her father had proven a long time ago that he never wanted that night to happen again.

Asami, Mako and Bolin wanted to follow the police, Councilman Tenzin and Korra inside, but Chief Beifong forbade it. Probably thinking that Asami had been lying to her the entire time and they were all knew about her father's ties with the Equalists all along. Though Asami still doubted that was the case.

Korra's apologetic face looking back towards them as she descended was the last Asami saw of the raid group. No, Asami didn't think Korra had done this on purpose anymore. She had a feeling the other girl simply wasn't that good of an actor. She wore her emotions on her sleeve. That still didn't mean that she was right about her father. Perhaps he had been right earlier. That the city was so scared they were looking for monsters everywhere. Asami supposed that the Avatar wasn't necessarily immune to that fear as well.

The police officer that was left with them was glaring at them as if daring the three to move one smidgen towards the newly revealed tunnel. Mako and Bolin were whispering to each other, both wanted to be inside with Korra, helping her get to the bottom of all this now that they knew she wasn't trying to be purposefully cruel. That and they had all heard a suspicious clang resound from the depths of the tunnel.

“What was that?” Bolin asked worriedly.

“We need to get down there and see what's going on,” Mako said urgently.

“Absolutely not! You're staying put until the chief comes back,” the officer told them sternly.

And then Mako and Bolin traded a look. Asami had no idea what they were going to do, but she was sure it was going to be something. They were both so brave and determined to act. It was more than she could claim for herself. She had let other people go investigate her father's whereabouts, which could still be completely innocent, without so much as a protest.

“All right, we'll stay put,” Mako said innocently. “But could we wait outside or something? It's so dusty in this workshop.” Asami saw him raise a hand and rub his nose. She couldn't guess what he and Bolin could possibly be up to. They were acting out of character from what she knew of them, but the officer didn't know that.

“No. We're waiting right here,” he said firmly.

“Okay, but don't blame me if I start snee-eez- If I start snee-ee- sneee-eeez- sn-sn-” he stammered as he doubled over.

Asami watched, fascinated as her boyfriend conned the police officer. It was the only thing she guessed could be happening. She still had no idea what Mako was planning, but he obviously had a lot of practice, and she wondered if this was something he and Bolin used on the streets before they were discovered for pro-bending.

“What's your problem, bub?” The metalbender asked in alarm.

“I'm about to- Ah-CHOO!” Mako 'sneezed' and shot out a blast of fire from his mouth. The officer recoiling in surprise while Bolin tripped the man, forcing him to fall flat on his face. Bolin body tackled him and both he and Mako began to tie the poor man up. Asami would have felt sorry for him if she wasn't so worried about her father. Though she was pretty impressed with what Mako and Bolin had spontaneously planned. The firebending was actually pretty cool and she wondered what it was like to literally breathe fire. Not that she could ever hope to find out for herself.

The police officer was dealt with quickly, Bolin taking the time to gloat, and then he and Mako were moving to descend into the tunnel. Asami went to follow, but Mako stopped him, saying that he would find out the truth for her. There was a part of her that wanted to accept his offer to hide. It was the cowardly part of her, the part that blindly wanted to believe that her father was innocent, untouchable and perfect. A child's view of him. Most of Asami still believed that he wasn't involved with the Equalists, but there was that tiny part of her that was beginning to doubt him. Why was the tunnel here in the workshop? Asami was never allowed inside without her father also being there. Why has her father been so busy these past few years without telling her what he was working on? He had been more secretive than usual.

She knew that Mako wasn't going to allow her to come with them. He was overprotective over her and they didn't have time to argue. She agreed to stay. Only for now. And watched as he and Bolin rode the cart the lead into the mountains.

Asami waited exactly two minutes before recalling the automated cart. The police officer was shouting at her behind his gag, but she paid him little mind. Dread was beginning to envelope her. Why hasn't anyone returned yet? Asami figured that someone should have come back to let them know there wasn't anything to worry about. Her father had to have known how worried he was making her. Korra would have come back to tell her she was wrong about him, wouldn't she?

There was a solid metal wall blocking the end of the tunnel. It looked like platinum. Why would there be a platinum slab blocking the passage? Asami couldn't see Mako or Bolin, or anyone from the raid party, but she did see a small earthbended hole that presumably tunneled underneath the platinum. She assumed Bolin was responsible for that and that the platinum wall was what they heard clang before they subdued the officer. If that was true, then her father's innocence was growing less likely. Why would an escape tunnel need a wall of pure platinum to trap people _on the exit side?_ Asami would have designed it to trigger _before_ any pursuers could follow them, leaving them trapped on the mansion's side.

Knowing that time probably wasn't on her side, she quickly clambered through the small, makeshift tunnel. She came into a huge, open room. Equalist banners were conspicuously draped from the ceiling. Massive mockeries of her naivete over her father's innocence. The were huge humanoid tanks lining the walls, some of them strewn throughout the open cavern. The signs of battle were obvious with unconscious bodies being thrown into the back of several trucks. Councilman Tenzin, Chief Beifong and Korra were either unconscious or near so while Mako and Bolin were trying to escape with the three.

And her father. He was raging to Mako about being a bender and calling him a no-good street-rat and… and Korra had been _right._ All along, she had been right. The evidence was staring her boldly in the face, leaving her no other choice but to call out to him. Have him stop this _madness. He had to._ He told her he wasn't involved. That her mother would hate the lies being told about him. _He lied to her._

“Dad, stop!” Asami cried out.

Her father spun around, looking disheveled and mad. Hiroshi looked like he could hardly believe she was there.

“Sweetie, I wanted to keep you out of this for as long as I could, but now that you know the truth, please… forgive me. These people, these… _benders,_ they took away your mother! The love of my life! They've _ruined_ the world! But with Amon, we can fix it and build a perfect world together. We can help people like us everywhere,” he pleaded with her, taking off the electric glove he was wearing and holding it out to her. “Join me, Asami.”

Asami had been staring at him in disbelief as he passionately defended his lying, his ties to a terrorist organization. As he begged her to understand that he was right to hate benders because of what one man did to her mother and his wife. That benders, _people like her,_ deserved to be put down because he thought they ruined the world. And at that moment, she felt numb. How long had her father been this way? When had things changed? At what point had he stopped being the man she thought he was, the man her mother said wanted to _help_ the world with his inventions, and became the man that could create war machines to hurt people and why hadn't she _noticed?_

Slowly, she approached his offered hand. Debating on what she should do about this. Mako, Bolin and Korra were staring at her in horror as she came closer to her father, but she could barely think about them. Asami had to think of a way to get them all out of here. She knew now there was no way to talk her father out of his delusions. He had been this way for a very long time, Asami had failed him a long time ago. Foolishly, she had thought he had been able to move on, unlike her, but now she knew they were in the same boat, clinging to a loss that was never going to come back. It had cost her connection to her bending, and his sanity. The Equalists had to be stopped, and they couldn't do that from the back of a transport.

She hesitantly grasped the glove he held out to her and put it on. Trying to gather the courage to finally do what was right for once. It was heavy and clunky, something that wasn't often associated with her father's work, but she supposed that if he had finally snapped then he probably wouldn't be opposed to creating something that was so ugly both in appearance and in function.

“I love you, Dad,” she told him wholeheartedly. What ever happened, she still loved the man he had been.

She triggered the glove and violently shocked him. Hiroshi's screams echoing in her mind as she numbly took in the fact that she was betraying him as he betrayed her. Distantly, she wondered whether things would be different if only she had told him the truth long ago? They had lied to each other and now their family was torn in half.

The Equalist next to him didn't get the same, nearly grief stricken attack. No, she was furious with the people who had taken her father away from her. What sort of twisted lies had they told him in order to get his help? Viciously, she kicked one of his weapons out of his hand and painfully twisted the other around to shock himself, the heat inside her raging against the walls she had built against it so long ago. Briefly, she again wondered what it was like to breathe fire.

Quickly, Mako and Korra sprang into motion, helping the now conscious Tenzin and Chief Beifong into the tunnel Bolin had made. Asami gave one last look to her father, crumpled on the ground because she had _attacked him._ Bolin gently pushed her into the tunnel behind the small group they had managed to save. She was barely paying attention as Chief Beifong led them all back to the airship the raid had arrived in.

She stared at the mansion as they lifted into the air and fled away from her childhood home. Asami wondered why she had apparently been destined to lose her family within its walls. She wondered if it would ever feel like a home to her again. Was this her fault? Her cowardice over her bending might have changed everything. Her mother had been so convinced that her father would have accepted her so long ago, before that Agni Kai had burned her to death. Would he hate benders if he had been forced to love one? Would he have even been able to love her after her mother's death? _When_ had he turned to hate to cope with her loss? She should have noticed. She should have noticed him turning into a stranger. She didn't know that man in the hidden factory. She didn't know him as he raged at her about changing the world as if that were a thing anyone had even asked for.

Then again, part of her wondered if she had ever known him at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, Asami. Hey, at least this time this chapter is a result of the canon. *I'm* not adding any misery here, this technically happened so.... Of course, this doesn't mean Asami is off the hook for anything I have planned to have her go through. Fortunately, I have made a decision on just *how* AU I want this fic to be (the answer is more than a little as it currently is, things are going to change relatively soon) and that means that some fluffy shit is going to break through all this doom and gloom. Without being foreshadowing for some Sato family tragedy.... It has the benefit of both throwing Asami a bit of a bone before I introduce more grief to her life (as if she needs anymore, right? but the angst is for character development, I promise) and keeping me from getting bored from rewriting the canon twice in two different fics.


	6. Brave

**Brave**

Asami was left in the small room as Korra and Tenzin went to the press conference. It was honestly a bit too much to take in. Not the room, it was relatively bare and simple compared to what she was used to. Not that it was a bad thing, the room was just what she needed after all that had happened with her father and the Equalists.

No, it was her father her thoughts kept returning to and the question she kept asking herself over and over. Why hadn't she noticed? He _hated benders._ How could he think like that? It defied all reason as far as she was concerned. Anyone could be a bender. _She_ was a bender. How could he hate her? Or at least what she was, it wasn't like she ever made it around to telling him about her bending. It was official, she was a complete and utter coward.

She really didn't want to think about it anymore. On a logical level, she knew there really wasn't escaping the fact that her father was a terrorist, but that's exactly what she wanted to do right now. Asami was exhausted and she had left the mansion primarily to escape thoughts of him in the first place. That, and the possibility of there being more secret tunnels compromising the safety of her house and her father taking her to join the Equalists regardless of what she wanted, as Bolin had bluntly pointed out last night.

Both boys had gone with her to pack up the belongings that they wanted to take with them to Air Temple Island. Asami knew then that she lived a different life than the brothers' now more than ever with the sheer disparity of things she had brought with her compared to the two. Mako had actually been a little flabbergasted at some of the choices she made when packing.

Like the radio she carefully pulled out of her small pack. It was really only a paperweight in terms of functionality at this point. Asami knew it probably wouldn't work if she tried to turn it on, she wasn't exactly well versed in wiring at six years old. He had not understood why she kept it, and to be fair, she hadn't been able to tell him what it was to her. Once again, Mako had proven stronger than she was, he was able to just come out with the sentimentality of his scarf, after all.

Though, sometimes she wondered why she still kept it as well. It was practically broken. She hadn't been able to properly touch it since her mother's death. It was a nice reminder of who she was, of course, but it was difficult to think of opening it up again and fixing the, no doubt, terrible things she had done to the poor device. She doubted her mother actually liked it when she mutilated it back then, no matter what her father had claimed yesterday.

He had lied to her about everything yesterday. She had profusely defended his innocence and he had thrown it into her face. He had the gall to suggest that her mother would have been furious at the thought of the accusations thrown at him. Accusations that had turned out to be utterly _true._ What had been going through his head? Why was he doing this? Yasuko Sato would have _hated_ the Equalists, that much Asami remembered about her. She had always been about treating people fairly and for goodness sake, Asami remembered which book she had read to her up to the night she died. Her mother certainly hadn't hated benders or the Avatar.

Of course, that was assuming things hadn't changed as she died. Who wasn't terrified as they got burned to death? Would she have hated fire then? Or was she simply afraid? Was she thinking of Asami and her bending as she passed? There were near endless questions, in a way Asami _almost_ couldn't blame her father for becoming so confused over this. Asami certainly was stricken with paralyzing indecision on just how her mother would have thought of her had she survived. Then again, she doubted Yasuko would have been able to harm innocent people. Perhaps she would have hated the triads, but what had Mako, Bolin or even Korra done to deserve such hatred leveled at them? What had any of the everyday benders in this city done? Asami didn't think her mother was capable of such vitriol. Then again, she had thought her father incapable of the same, hadn't she?

Just what _was_ true about her family anymore? Asami shuddered to think about just what could have come out of the conversation she had wanted to have with her father in his workshop. To think that she had considered that he could have been able to tell her whether her mother would have minded her bending. That he actually still knew her mother well enough to give her a definitive answer. Asami sincerely doubted that Yasuko would have been capable of enough change to actually hate and harm people like her father wanted to. Perhaps her father once was incapable of the same, but somewhere throughout the years, he had changed. Asami didn't know when, she didn't know how and she didn't know why, not really, and it was disturbing her incessantly. Hiroshi had tried to explain his motivations to her, but Asami failed to see how hurting an entire group of people in the name of her mother would change anything for the better.

She sighed as she dropped onto the bed, still holding her mother's radio. It actually looked fine if one didn't know what she had done to it. Mako had actually tried to turn it on, but Asami had been able to grab his hand just before he had turned any knobs. She wondered if her mother would have liked that Asami had left it exactly as it was for so long. She doubted it. At least on a practical level. Her mother had not liked missing her soap opera the second time she had gotten her hands on the radio. Asami could tell she had been a little put out, even then. She had felt bad at the time. It had been painful to think of working on it again. Knowing that her mother would never be able to enjoy what she had really planned on doing with it. Perhaps she had not considered the problem in quite that same way at six, but Asami knew all along that she could really never look at it the same way again and it had hurt to think about it for the longest time.

Though she wondered if she could even get it working again. The model was over a decade old now. Just how practical was it in terms of performance? Was it even worth thinking about salvaging? It surely wouldn't sound as clear as a newer model, not without gutting the insides completely and restoring it. Of course, then it wouldn't be her mother's radio then, would it? Not really. It couldn't hurt to look inside, could it? Not if she was only curious, Asami was wondering just how clean it was now. It wouldn't hurt to clear the dust out, surely.

Asami went to the small desk in the room, digging out the screwdriver she kept on her for just about anything that could possibly come up throughout her day. It was easy to pop the back off the small unit, the inside actually wasn't as bad as she would have expected, in terms of cleanliness. Asami knew it was a bit foolish, but she feared it would be utterly filthy. It wasn't as if she hadn't dusted the outside of the unit occasionally, but still the inside certainly wasn't as clean as its shell. It didn't take too long to clear it all out.

The wiring was a different matter. It was definitely a good thing that her parents had the foresight to hide all of the truly dangerous tools from her. Her father had to often come up with some very interesting spots and Asami wondered if he even thought of these things fondly any longer or if he was consumed with the thought of his insane mission. It took several moments to determined just what the wiring was supposed to look like in this model. The ends of the wires were all twisted together in ways that looked almost random. Like her childhood self had simply done them back together at random. Her father had taught her what a phonograph was supposed to look like, not a radio. Everything was all mixed around and confused. She couldn't leave it like that, it was a total mess. And Asami did not like to see shoddy work. She had obviously improved significantly since she had last touched the radio, why not use that experience to fix what she had broken? It was what her father would have done. Before, at least. But he wasn't here anymore to fix what she messed up. She'd have to do it herself.

Just what was she afraid of, anyway? It was a radio. A small, old one at that. Nothing ground breaking. Asami was surprised her father hadn't convinced her mother to buy a nicer model to begin with. It was something to listen to jazz, soap operas and the news. Nothing groundbreaking. It was not like she could make it any worse, either. In fact, Asami was sure she could repair it right now. Asami was getting tired of feeling afraid of the simplest things. Actually, she was tired of feeling afraid in general.

Why couldn't she bend? Why couldn't she just get over her hang ups? Her mother was not a bender, she wasn't actually preventing Asami from doing anything. Asami was allowing her memory to haunt her to begin with, she _knew_ that. The fact was quite clear to her. Yet, her emotions always got the best of her. Every time she tried. It was so _frustrating._ No, it was often infuriating. She didn't want to be angry with them. She didn't want to act like her father. But why couldn't their memory let her go? Why was she torturing herself over things that could not change? Would never change? Her father was a terrorist, her mother was dead. There was nothing she could do about that. About any of it. They had been taken from her, why did she have to suffer the consequences from their choices or their loss every day? Didn't she deserve a reprieve?

Asami barely noticed that she was fixing the radio in her anger. It was something she was doing almost on instinct and practice. The innards weren't at all complicated for her any longer. She hardly noticed that enough time had passed for Korra and Tenzin to return. Or Tenzin at any rate. His children were clambering through the hallways to greet him, she didn't hear them call Korra's name like she was with him. And as best she could tell, the children liked Korra.

Korra. Asami had been terribly wrong about her. She had been right all along. The Avatar wasn't too close to her father as Asami was, too close to miss seeing him for what he really was. A liar and a criminal. It was so, so stupid of her father. Why was he throwing everything away? Didn't she matter to him at all? What about the company? The police had frozen all of their assets, Asami didn't even want to think about what their stocks looked like. Or the state of their investors. Goodness, _what was he thinking?!_

She was tired. She didn't want to think about him anymore. Asami wanted to help Korra defeat this movement now. It was the least she could do after accusing her of being a liar, when all Korra had really wanted was to help the city. She joined a task force to capture Amon, she _actually_ challenged the man to a midnight duel to try and stop him. Asami couldn't believe she had once considered Korra would be petty enough to make up accusations towards her father. Especially since the man hadn't deserved her defense of him.

Korra probably deserved an apology. No, there was really no 'probably' about it. Asami wondered just how long her father would have hidden this from her if it were not for the Avatar. So, she left the room, and tried not to stalk through the hallway. There was no reason to broadcast the fact that she was a little upset at the moment. Asami didn't think she could handle anyone's concern right now. She really wanted time to simply process on her own.

It wasn't hard to find Tenzin, his children's voices were loud enough to echo through the building and they lead her to a sitting room.

“Oh, Miss Sato,” the airbending master greeted formally. This seemed to be a running theme with Tenzin.

“You can just call me Asami,” she told him with her best attempt at a friendly facade. She didn't want to be rude to the man that had so kindly opened his home for her, but she wasn't exactly feeling well.

“Of course,” he accepted politely. “Was there something you wanted? I would be happy to help you,” he offered while his son scampered on top of his head.

It was a silly sight, and if she were feeling better, Asami would have struggled not to laugh at how the man seemed to collected while his kids scrambled bodily on top of him.

“I was just wondering if you've seen Korra. I wanted to speak with her.”

“She's somewhere on the island, but I couldn't tell you where, unfortunately. She told me she wanted to try and meditate. Perhaps at the gazebo?”

“Nope!” Meelo exclaimed. “That's not where Korra likes go. She likes to go to the cliffs and look at the water. I wanted to see if she had a super cool hideout she always went to, but it was so _boring_ there. There's water all _around_ the island. I don't know what's so great about that spot,” he said dismissively.

“Oh,” Asami blinked, not expecting the boy to be so helpful. “Thank you, Meelo.”

“Anything for you, pretty lady,” Meelo said shyly.

Asami left before the boy could get any ideas about following her. He had the oddest crush on her. It was cute, but not something she wanted to deal with right now. Being on an island, it took a moment to figure out just what Meelo meant about cliffs since the island was practically above sea level in every direction by a significant amount, but it didn't take long to realize there was a side of the island that was much more sheer than the others.

It didn't take too long to locate Korra after that. She had to brush past several bushes hiding Korra from plain view, but Asami managed it just fine. Korra was sitting at the edge of the cliffs just as Meelo said she was, and trying to meditate. From what Asami could see, she didn't appear to be very successful. Face scrunched and scowling in frustration. For a moment, Asami wondered if Korra would mind her interrupting, but at her third irritated sigh, Asami ultimately decided that her… friend? Her friend probably would like a break.

“Korra?” She asked quietly. Not quite timidly, but she didn't want to startle Korra needlessly.

She jumped anyway, scrambling around like she hadn't expected anyone would be able to find her here. Asami felt a little guilty at the thought. Was this some kind of sanctuary she was trespassing on? Korra probably wouldn't be out here if she wanted to talk to to anyone.

“Asami!” She exclaimed in obvious surprise. “I- um, I didn't expect to see you there.”

“I'm sorry. I wanted to talk to you, but I didn't mean to disturb you. We can talk later, if you want,” Asami offered. She realized that Korra probably had her own stresses and issues to deal with and likely wanted to be alone to think and process just like Asami wanted to do earlier. It would be selfish of her to deny Korra that just because she wanted to ease her conscience. She was fully prepared to leave without any hard feelings if that was what Korra wanted.

“No, you're fine. Not like I was getting anything done anyway,” Korra said bitterly.

Asami wasn't sure if she was talking about her obvious problem with meditating, or if she actually had frustrated Korra.

“Um….”

“Ugh, no, I mean... it's not you. I was trying to reach my past lives. See if they had any advice about this mess. Or even just airbending. I hear Aang was pretty good at it. I'm… not,” Korra said with a sigh.

“Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to keep you from reaching them,” she told Korra, now feeling guilty that she had interrupted Korra's duties. Surely she could apologize later, Korra probably had more important things to think about right now.

“No, you aren't. I'm just hopeless at this stuff, apparently,” Korra responded with a sigh. “The White Lotus always said I was a spiritual failure. They'd probably laugh at me if they knew I was terrible at airbending too.”

“What? That's nonsense, you aren't a failure, Korra. You were the one that figured out my dad was working with the Equalists, you've been doing everything you can to help this city!” Asami exclaimed. No, if anyone, it was she that was the failure. How could Korra think she had failed at anything? Asami had failed to see what was right in front of her. She had been too afraid to do anything at the arena. She had been too afraid for years.

“And I haven't been able to change anything,” Korra retorted. “Amon's only gotten more confident, I _still_ can't airbend. Sometimes I wonder what I'm even doing here. I don't know why I'm telling you all this….”

“What do you mean?” Asami asked, slightly hurt. She knew she and Korra might not be the closest of people, but she at least thought Korra would have liked being on speaking terms with her.

“No, I… I'm just mad. I just thought you'd have a lot on your mind. You probably don't want to listen to me complain,” Korra explained.

“I'm fine, Korra. I actually came out here to apologize to you,” Asami admitted.

Korra scrunched her face in confusion. Asami wondered how someone could display their emotions so boldly.

“What? Why? I just ratted your dad out,” she pointed out.

“I know, that's why I wanted to apologize. Korra, you were right all along. I thought you were just trying to be… well, mean to me. It sounds kinda silly when I think about it now. You were just trying to help. And my dad actually turned out to be a terrorist. He thought I'd join him. I don't want to think about what could have happened if you didn't reveal him before things could get really bad,” Asami told her seriously.

“Oh. Wow, I don't really know what to say to that. I didn't want to be right about him, Asami. I am sorry that it even happened.”

“It's not your fault.” And it wasn't. Asami hoped that Korra wasn't blaming herself for what happened to her father. He chose to join the Equalists. Really, if anyone could have stopped him, it was Asami herself. She could have told him the truth a long time ago. Now they've ended up lying to each other.

They were silent for several moments. Asami wondered if Korra felt the same way she did. Could she feel the touch of air around her, waiting for her to make the first move? Was it inside her, struggling to get out and acknowledge it, or was it silent?

“How does it feel to bend different elements?” Asami figured she'd ask that instead. She didn't want to remind Korra so directly of the reason she was out here to begin with.

For a second, Korra looked at her funny, and Asami was again reminded that she was supposed to be a non-bender when it came to the rest of the world. Asking about bending out of the blue was probably confusing. But then Korra shrugged.

“It's… hard to explain. They're all different from each other, but in a lot of ways, the same. The White Lotus always told me I understood the physical side of bending the best. Water is fluid, always changing. It can be gentle and you know… heal, but it can also hurt. A water whip to the face isn't fun. Earth is solid, it doesn't tend to change very much. But it's also kinda warm. It's always there, underneath us and it's nice to feel,” Korra explained.

“What about fire?”

“Wasn't your mom-uh. I'm sorry,” Korra said quickly. She was blushing fiercely. Asami thought about the almost question. She wondered how Korra knew about her mother's death. Mako couldn't have told her, all Asami had ever said to him was that her mother was dead. She hadn't been able to get into the details with him like he had with his parents. Her dad had told the entire room that she had been murdered by a bender, practically, but had not given any details. Asami was just curious.

“She was. How did you know?”

“I'm sorry, it was during the investigation. It was probably the only reason Beifong even believed me. She thought your dad had a motive. Tenzin told me what happened. He was only trying to give me information, I haven't talked about it with the boys or anyone,” Korra was firing out her explanation nervously. Like she expected Asami to yell at her, or something dramatic.

“Korra, it's fine. I'm not mad or anything. I was just curious. Mom's… not easy to talk about, but it happened and people are going to know the truth.”

“Still, I shouldn't have even started to ask, it's none of my business.”

“It's really fine. It's probably a good thing to talk about her. My dad ended up twisting her memory,” Asami said bitterly.

“You're saying she wouldn't have liked the Equalists?” Korra asked.

“No. She would have hated them, I think.”

“...Your dad acted like he hated Mako even more because he was a firebender,” Korra told her carefully.

Asami figured she was trying to ask why she didn't feel the same and didn't know how to do it. For someone who could seem so confident, Korra seemed to get really self-conscious when it came to talking to people.

“I… um,” she wanted to tell Korra that she had been afraid of fire for a few years. She wanted to tell her that she got over it, but the truth was that she hadn't. Not really. It would be a lie to say that she was completely okay with fire, and even firebending. She wasn't afraid of _Mako,_ and she wasn't even afraid of fire in terms of it hurting _her._ She was afraid of _how_ it could hurt other people. That she could potentially hurt someone like her mother had been. She could lie to Korra, it's not like they were close enough to tell each other their deepest, darkest secrets.

Then again, wouldn't that be a good reason to finally say something? Korra wasn't close enough to her to take her secret personally like Mako could. He probably would be hurt that she didn't trust him enough to talk to him, no matter whether he realized that she wasn't trying to hurt his feelings. It would be human nature. And her father. What if Asami had told him and he… did something to her in some misguided sense of justice? It was frightening to think about. She had kept the truth from him for so long because of her own struggles, and then because she hadn't wanted to burden him with something that didn't have a chance of even really affecting their lives in a meaningful way any time soon. She had thought he would feel guilty that she had been alone with this for so long. Asami had truly been blind and naive.

“Do you have, you know, some left over feelings about firebenders? I'm just confused since you're dating Mako,” Korra asked, puzzled, picking up on her loaded silence.

“Not about firebenders, no. I guess I've just felt guilty this whole time,” Asami muttered. She was speaking and her throat felt tight. Her chest was practically squeezing her heart as well. Asami felt like this conversation was happening slowly, each word being forced from her mouth, coming out almost on their own. Yet, she was carefully skirting around the issue to see how Korra would react and ready to retract at the slightest indication that something could go wrong.

“Guilty? Why would you feel guilty? You couldn't have stopped what happened, Asami. Tenzin told me this happened, like, twelve years ago. You would have been, what, six?!” Korra said in disbelief. Like she couldn't possibly fathom why Asami would have felt responsible for her mother's death. Of course she couldn't. The reasoning she had barely made sense to her, personally. Korra didn't even know the truth, let alone the mess in her head.

“She used to read to me before bed. I'd tell her about my day. Something… happened and I told her about it. She was happy for me, I remember. I just think she wouldn't have been able to look at me the same way if she had lived. I don't think she'd _hate_ me. I just don't like thinking that she could have been afraid,” Asami knew she probably wasn't making any sense. She didn't know how to just come out with it. There were no euphemisms for bending, after all. You could either control an element, or you couldn't. Generally, people were happy to have the ability and didn't hide it. Asami didn't know of anyone that really had as she was.

Korra was staring at her intently though. Asami didn't know how she must be appearing to her. Probably really weird and entirely detached from how she normally behaved.

“What are you trying to tell me?” Korra asked patiently. It was like she could tell that Asami was having a difficult time. She probably could, for all Asami knew. Especially when she realized she was fidgeting. Asami Sato did not make a habit of fidgeting.

“I-I have a bending block too,” Asami admitted. She felt like she was trying to speak through gravel.

“Okay,” Korra said slowly. “How long have you had it?”

“I found out that day. My mother was going to take me to my father's office the next day to surprise him with it. I wanted it to be a surprise, he always worked late back then. And then she died,” she whispered. It all could have been so different. Asami thought that she had long since stopped asking why this had to happen to her family. It would just be her acting angry towards nothing. The past never changed. But it sometimes still popped up. Why _did_ it have to happen? Especially that night? She could have told her father, he could have been happy for her then. He didn't have to become a hateful stranger.

Korra was silent for the longest time, biting her lip. Asami began to wonder why she had burdened her with this. Korra might have been the Avatar, but that didn't mean she knew how to deal with Asami's demons and she didn't really have to either. They were hers and she was responsible for them, ultimately. This had probably been a mistake.

“I can't pretend I knew your mom. It's just… I have a hard time imagining any mother wanting her kid torturing herself. Firebending isn't just burning and heat and pain. It can be. But it comes from inside you. It's warmth and life, not anger and hatred. That man used it the wrong way. You don't have to think of it like he did or how your dad does,” Korra finally said.

But Asami didn't believe it was that easy.

“I don't know how to do that. I- I appreciate what you're trying to do, Korra, but I don't think I can. I haven't been able to bend for years. I've managed fine without it,” she was lying. Nightmares, anxiety and constantly rethinking the same things over and over again weren't managing 'fine,' and Asami knew it. However, the thought of confronting it head on was terrifying. What if she couldn't do it?

“No! You don't have to prove your dad right, you don't have to be afraid of it! I… I guess some of the Equalists were afraid of benders for a long time before they finally decided to do something crazy. And now they're making everything worse. People are afraid now more than ever. I don't think it has to be that way. Bending can be used for so much good, don't let yourself be afraid. This is a part of you. If you don't at least try, I think you'll regret it. I think you already regret it, Asami.”

Korra's eyes were blazing and impassioned. Asami wondered if this was what being the Avatar was. A moment ago, Korra was practically stuttering through the conversation. Now she was talking to Asami so confidently that it was a wonder that she wasn't actually reading her mind. Maybe she was, Asami knew she often came off poised. It was something she had to be in order to be successful at work, she was taking over a prominent industrial company sooner than she would have thought now, after all. However, it wasn't everyday that she confessed that she could bend.

“I can at least try to help you, but you have to let me first. We have to try.”

“Why? Korra, you already have enough to worry about. And, I know we're not exactly… close. I probably shouldn't have even told you about all this, you have a terrorist cell to stop!”

“Asami, _stop._ I'm the reason things have been so weird between us. I told you I thought you were just a prissy rich girl. And… I was jealous about Mako,” Korra admitted, red-faced. This was the thing neither girl had wanted to bring up after Ikki had spilled the beans. It was awkward enough but it had made sense now that Asami knew. “I wasn't treating you fairly, I know that. I want to help you, though. You're probably right that I'll be busy, but that doesn't mean I can't still make a little time for you. I still have to learn airbending, right? And I'm making just about zero progress there. Maybe we can help you in the meantime. I mean, if you don't want to become a firebending master, that's fine. I just think it would be a good thing to learn how to _use_ it again. I'm just asking help you learn how to not be scared of it,” Korra was pleading with her, practically, and Asami was wondering why she cared so much. Was this just Korra herself? Wanting to help someone simply because she could? Asami didn't know. She'd probably find out, though.

“I don't know if I can change, Korra. I've been like this for a long time,” Asami said doubtfully.

“We'll never know if we don't try,” Korra said stubbornly, but with a gentle undertone. Asami couldn't even be irritated with her slight pushiness. They both knew that she needed this, if she were honest with herself. This wasn't _healthy_ by any stretch of the imagination. Asami could pretend that she hadn't meant to tell Korra about her bending, but that wasn't true. She knew she had reached out herself, and she didn't have much right to be upset with the results.

...Which were almost exactly what she had wanted, wasn't it? Hadn't she told Korra because she was tired of hiding?

Asami just hoped that Korra had enough confidence for the both of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew, okay. So, this chapter. Didn't I say that I was going to be giving this poor girl a little break? She doesn't see iy for what it is, but this is it. Of course, this doesn't mean that things will work out for Asami all nice and pretty. Ooohoho no. I'm afraid not, considering the plans I have. I also realize that this isn't exactly fluffy like I said and thought it would be. Coming out of the closet in a situation and context that Asami is isn't an easy thing to do, it's frightening and nerve wracking. So, yeah. A good dose of angst is in here, but on the bright side, Asami has finally addressed two different things she has been avoiding for the past twelve years. That's a good thing!
> 
> I've also tweaked the canon here. I thought I was going to change Asami and Korra's interactions to be simply fluffy friend stuff for things... later. However, there is something I want to do with them in a later chapter that's a lot more serious. Serious enough to want to lay some ground work down and that requires them to be a little closer than they are in Book 1 canon. Sure, they're friends, but they aren't BFFs yet. Of course, I may have sped up the development time for a certain story line in consequence to my needs in this story. Ultimately, this is an Asami story I want to tell, of course, and she needs to do some growing still.
> 
> Korra, I kind of wanted to touch on her more empathetic nature in this chapter. The Mako thing is still weird between them, and I don't plan on making them the bestest friends at the snap of my fingers, but I'll be frank. The love triangle stuff is something I'm not a massive fan of. It exists in canon (and thus far the story has mostly been following the canon), and I plan on acknowledging it, but things might just change on that end and I will be very happy if it does.


	7. Touch

**Touch**

There was something to be said about Korra's optimism. She insisted that they start on her block immediately, _'no time like the present,'_ she had said. Asami had to admit that part of her had wanted to put this off, like had been doing for years. She wasn't exactly comfortable, but she knew what it felt like to keep her bending locked away. Trying to use it again was entirely out of her realm of known parameters and she wasn't entirely at ease about it.

This was how they had found themselves back on the cliff after Korra had run off toward the dorms to gather some supplies. What sort of supplies they would need for bending, Asami didn't know, but it was soon revealed to her to be simple candle. She didn't know what candles had to do with firebending either, but she trusted that Korra probably knew what she was doing. She was the one that knew how to firebend to begin with. She had been gone for a while, though. Asami wondered what had taken her so long to find a candle.

“What held you up?” she asked curiously as she followed Korra's directions to sit in front of the candle Korra had placed several feet from the cliff side.

“I wanted to ask Tenzin for some advice,” she told her.

That made Asami's stomach drop for several moments. She hadn't wanted anyone to know about her bending other than Korra for right now. She didn't want people to feel sorry for her or to ask her too many questions as to why she had decided to hide it in the first place. Something she really wouldn't be able to answer without becoming uncomfortably emotional. No one really needed to know about this, it had been her own decision, just as it was her own decision to learn to do it again now.

“Korra, I didn't want anyone to know,” Asami tried to stay calm, to be fair, she hadn't told Korra outright that this needed to be a secret, but from Korra's wide eyes she knew she hadn't entirely succeeded.

“What? No! I didn't tell him anything. I told him that a _friend_ needed help and that they were afraid of their firebending. He thought I was talking about me at first, which was pretty funny, but then I told him it was an actual friend of mine that could use some advice but they didn't want anyone to know who they were. Of course, that only made him think of Mako. I should probably warn him about Tenzin later…. But yeah, he ended up giving me some advice. Turns out Aang had trouble with firebending too!” Korra seemed excited about this revelation, but this didn't exactly make Asami feel better. If the Avatar himself had trouble with the element, she wondered how she would do any better.

“Really?” she asked noncommittally.

“Yeah, he was afraid of it after he burned Katara. I guess he was messing around, which is kinda surprising. The White Lotus was sure to have me firebend only when my master was around. They thought I was gonna hurt myself but I knew what I was doing. I _was_ able to bend three elements since I was four…. Anyway, he burned her and he felt really bad about it and didn't want to firebend again. Of course, he had to eventually, but he was really afraid of losing control and that's a huge no in firebending. You can't be afraid of firebending or you can lose control, which is what people who are scared of it are afraid of to begin with,” Korra told her as she joined her on the ground.

It was food for thought at least. Though, Asami didn't really know how to go about _not_ being afraid. It was something she had felt for so long as far as her bending was concerned. Telling her to not be afraid was like telling her to stop breathing.

“I don't really know how to not be afraid,” she decided to admit. It couldn't hurt, especially if she hoped to actually succeed in this.

“That's okay,” Korra said, giving Asami a wide smile. “That's why we start slow. I'm not gonna make you try to create fire yourself, yet. That will come later, when you're ready. For now, we're going to use this candle.”

Korra lit the candle effortlessly with a flick of her finger. It was actually pretty impressive, despite how small the gesture was. People did things like that everyday like it was nothing to them. Asami wondered what that had to be like, to use firebending in your everyday life.

“Do you know how to meditate?”

“Yes, many of my self-defense instructors insisted on it,” Asami answered. She was interested in seeing where Korra was going to go with this. She doubted they would only be meditating, Asami got the sense that Korra didn't particularly enjoy the activity.

“Good, then all we have to add are the breathing exercises. It turns out that most of firebending's strength comes from the breath, not aggressive movement, so don't go copying my style based just on what you see,” Korra laughed. “The goal here is to try to make the fire bigger than what it is right now, without losing control of it. The only thing I'll be doing is making sure things don't get out of hand, so don't be nervous. I'll be right here the whole time.”

Korra started breathing deeply into her nose, and out calmly through her mouth. Asami followed suit, trying to not to get too nervous. This wasn't something she had even considered, using a fire source outside of her body. She had always tried to reach within herself, knowing that fire was just waiting for her there. Things seemed a little more real to her now that she could actually see it in front of her and knowing that she could actually affect it.

“Great, just like that,” Korra said after several moments, probably making sure that Asami had the technique down. “Okay, can you feel the flame? You'll probably have to stretch out your senses to feel it.”

That was such an odd way to instruct someone. Asami was used to very explicit terms in engineering, the instructions were written out very clearly on a blueprint, yet Korra's directions still made sense to her and she thought that was rather interesting. It seemed there was a very instinctual side to bending that would have irritated her if she was in a workshop or at one of Future Industries' factories, but it made sense to her here. It was very strange and out of the realm of what she was typically used to.

Asami closed her eyes, just to make certain that she wasn't 'cheating' at this exercise. At first, she could only feel the flames that were within herself, entirely distracting and disheartening to be honest. It was the ultimate goal, but right now, Asami didn't see how she'd ever be able to reach it. Korra had started breathing with her again, so she decided to focus on her instead. It had to be better than what was roiling inside her, at least. From there, she timidly reached out to where she guessed the candle had to be.

She almost flinched when she touched it. It wasn't particularly hot, only being the tiny ember of a candle, after all, it was simply surprising. The fact that it's been _twelve years_ since she had touched fire had Asami forgetting what the element felt like. And it was… warm. Of course it was warm, there was no other way for fire to feel, but it wasn't _burning._ Burning like it did inside of her when she tried to touch it for the briefest of moments, burning like it certainly had for her mother. No, this time, it was warm and small, just like it had been when she had first discovered that she could create fire on her own so long ago.

And so she began try to affect it again. It wasn't as easy as she thought it would be. Simply willing it to be did nothing, Asami didn't know if that was because she was acting so timidly with it, though. Korra had said that she couldn't be afraid of it, or she would lose control. It stood to reason though, that if she was this fearful of it then she probably wouldn't have any control to begin with. Korra would be here the entire time, right? She was the Avatar, master of all the elements right? That's what the stories always said. If anyone could control the mess Asami could potentially create, it was her. Besides, Korra had been so much kinder to her than Asami would have expected her to be. Not that she thought Korra would be cruel or mean, but they _were_ attracted to the same boy and then there was the no small matter of her father, the man who was helping a terrorist threaten benders and therefore the Avatar. Korra had plenty of reasons to blow her off, yet here she was. Asami thought that was amazing.

There was nothing else for it, Asami had to give this a _real_ try. Korra was trying so hard to help her and what was there to be afraid of such a tiny ember? It was a _candle,_ for goodness sake. Asami knew she was being silly, there was nothing else to do except stop, she supposed. She took a deep breath and slowly released it for what was maybe the hundredth time. Then she reached for the flame again, concentrating on making it bigger with every breath she exhaled.

If Asami was honest with herself, there was a part of her that never expected this to work, like she was permanently broken and wasn't particularly interested in seeing the result of this little experiment. She'd end up failing and that was that, no need to try again, she may as well be a non-bender and her father would have no reason to hate her very being. So, when the exercise actually _worked_ and the flame grew a bit larger than it already was, that part sort of… panicked. It wasn't anything she was proud of, but there was no stopping it. Asami didn't know why this had to happen to her. She was the daughter of a business mogul, she knew how to keep her cool, but it was as if the fire simply grew exponentially warmer until it was indistinguishable from the flames inside of her and it was all that same, cursed burning once again.

With a gasp, Asami released the hold she had on the flame, while Korra carefully dismissed the fire with a circular motion, she made it seem so simple and Asami knew she was being foolish once again.

“I'm sorry,” she panted. “I don't know what happened.”

“Hey, it's okay. You don't have anything to feel bad about. That was a really good first try!” Korra was beaming at her and Asami didn't see why she was so happy. She had failed the exercise, she had allowed herself to become afraid, just as Korra warned her against.

“It didn't work, though. I still got scared,” Asami admitted, and she knew she had to be blushing in embarrassment.

“Nope! None of that here,” Korra shook her head stubbornly. “That was a great first try, there's nothing else to it. I didn't expect you to be able to control it on the first try. Asami, you're touching fire again with your bending for the first time in more than a decade, that's gonna be surprising and something you're not exactly prepared for. To be honest, I really didn't expect you to be able to even affect it until after a few more tries. The fact that you did… I mean, that's pretty amazing!”

“I-really? You think so?” Asami had to admit that she wasn't exactly an expert on bending. She really didn't know what was truly failure when it came to it, did she? Korra had been doing this for much longer than she has and from what she had been able to see at the arena the night Amon had attacked it, Korra was a pretty great firebender in her own right.

“Of course I do!” Korra was beaming again, like she was even happier for Asami's success than she was. That was probably the case, Asami was feeling a bit out of sorts. She didn't really know how to feel about all this. She was so used to ignoring her bending, the fact that she's been able to do _something_ again after so long was disorienting.

“Asami, if you keep this up, we can probably get you much more comfortable with your bending than you would have dreamed of. I know you can do this, you're actually pretty good at it.”

“I think I'd like that,” Asami told her. Only because if she looked deep within herself, she really did want this after all was said and done. She knew she was just confused right now, her fears warring with her instincts. If she could get past them, Asami wondered at the things she'd be able to do. She was so _tired_ of being afraid of herself for the sake of her mother. Asami knew she didn't deserve to punish herself for something she hadn't done forever. If only her mind felt the same.

“Great! Let's try again. We can probably keep this up for a little while longer. I don't want to make you too exhausted on your first day. You might not feel it right now, but bending can really take a lot out of you,” Korra told her with that same wide smile. Korra's exuberance was easy to get swept up in.

If she ever did get to actually bending again, then Asami knew it would be all thanks to Korra. She knew Korra figured Asami was responsible for her breakthrough, but Asami knew she wouldn't have come even remotely close without her help. She was the only changed variable. Asami had been trying to achieve a similar result for years, hadn't she? It wasn't until now that anything had changed and Asami knew that she wasn't the reason behind it at all. Still, maybe one day she would be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More Korrasami friendship! :D This was fun to write, if only because these characters are much more pleasant to write together when they are getting along and it turns out that comes pretty easy for them when they aren't thinking about Mako. I actually have a deleted scene for this chapter in which Korra actually asks Tenzin for the advice she references in this chapter. Unfortunately, I could not include it because the story is not in Korra's point of view, so the fic is only going to be seeing the results of Tenzin's misunderstanding rather than also getting the cause. If you're interested it it, I've got it posted at blueraith.tumblr.com.
> 
> Anyway, this was actually pretty fluffy. See? I can be very nice to Asami when I have to be. :D Of course, I don't expect this trend to continue for long, the next chapter gets back to the overarching plot in Book 1 and things will get a little harder for Asami once again, poor kid.


	8. Release

**Release**

If Asami felt like her life had been upended before, she definitely felt it even more so now. There was simply no way she had ever expected to end up getting arrested. Granted, her arrest was far from justice, considering the fact that the only 'crime' she had committed was being related to her father. She supposed there was some tragic humor in that. He had turned crazy trying to make the world a 'better' place for her and her passed mother, but so far she's only been hurt by his decision ever since. Asami knew it was probably better she try to find the humor in this, otherwise she might just have to crawl up in a ball and never come out. Things were just so messed up from how she had viewed the world from even just a few days ago.

Still, she couldn't deny that some of it been exhilarating. Helping Korra fight the Equalists was more cathartic than she would have guessed. That probably had to do more with the fact that it felt like hurting her father, though. That she was getting back at him for betraying her as he had and causing her lose everything. Asami was more than aware that he had put so much of their lives at stake for something staggeringly stupid. There were many times that she couldn't stand him for making the choice that he had on her and her mother's behalf. He hadn't ever thought to ask her what she believed. Maybe then she would have told him about her bending, if she had only had some kind of warning. Or if she had been able to notice how much he had changed. It felt like she kept switching on who she should blame for all of this practically every hour and it was driving her crazy. So then she would try _not_ to think about it. Of course, that was easier said than done if you were locked in a jail cell with nothing to do _but_ think.

Instead, she decided to think about the fact that she had finally done her part to help the city. She still wasn't helping them with all of her potential, but maybe she would get there one day, after Korra finished helping her. They had continued working at the beginner's exercise for a little longer, just as Korra had said, but then they had to stop. Korra had been right, it had been more than a little tiring in the end. Asami would have never guessed. It had seemed like all she was doing was thinking and breathing, then again, it wasn't like she was the expert on bending either. Korra had been in good spirits after that, a stark contrast compared to how she had seemed to feel when Asami had first found her to apologize in the first place. Of course, that soon changed when they had walked inside for something to eat. That exercise had made them both hungry.

Pema had been listening to the radio, only for the news to come on. It was not flattering to Korra at all. Asami thought they had been completely ridiculous. The reporters had acted as if Korra was meant to solve all of the city's problems in one day, never mind the fact that Republic City had caused their own mess to begin with. Asami could not ignore the fact that if people were treated more fairly to begin with, the Equalists probably would have no movement in the end. She knew that didn't excuse their actions in the slightest, in fact Asami found herself hating them more and more as time went past. They were hurting innocent people, her father had allowed himself to be seduced into following their insane cause, and they were causing men like Tarrlok to overreact entirely. Like arresting her for being Hiroshi Sato's daughter. She was beginning to really dislike Tarrlok as well.

At any rate, Korra had been reminded of why she had been upset in the first place. The radio show's hosts had been wondering why the Avatar wasn't trying harder to stop the Equalists. Asami knew their criticism was unfair, but Korra didn't seem to think so. It had taken her and the boys' combined efforts to reassure her, as well as coming up with the idea to help her fight the Equalists. Asami had liked that she was able to be of some use to 'Team Avatar' as Bolin had named them. She may not have been able to bend, _still,_ but she was very happy to be able to provide transportation at the very least, after Naga had made her mind clear that she didn't like the idea of all four of them riding on top of her.

After that, it was a simple matter to use her father's police scanners to find some suspicious activity. Again, Asami felt like she should have noticed something. Goodness, why on earth would her father have needed police scanners to begin with? He put them in all of their cars, even hers. The signs were becoming more and more obvious to her in hindsight. Asami knew that scanners didn't necessarily mean that he was a terrorist, but it was still something she probably should have questioned him over. As far as Asami knew, _she_ was the one who had a tendency to speed. Her father enjoyed making his inventions the best that he could, but as far as speeding was concerned, he kept that to the testing tracks, unlike her. So, if they weren't to help him speed in the city, then Asami really thought she probably shouldn't have been so unquestioning as she had. What other reason would he have installed them for?

It had been much easier to find some Equalists to fight than Asami would have thought. In fact, it almost all seemed too convenient for them to show up within the first hour of their patrol. Apparently her father's group were getting bolder by the day. She should have guessed given how her father had been willing to risk his freedom for his insane cause. There was probably something to be said about that. Hiroshi Sato didn't make careless risks. Everything he did was carefully weighed before acting upon. From investing, to inventing, to terrorizing.

Convenient or not, they had to stop them. It wasn't as if the police knew what they were doing, if the Equalists had been able to escape from prison to begin with. This was where the night got exhilarating. Asami loved driving. More often than not, the only time she had the chance to really let go was on her father's track racing or testing a new Satomobile. Or both. Out in the city, there really wasn't much of a chance to do the same. Other drivers and the police didn't really take kindly to drifting or sudden movements. Not that Asami could really blame them, not many people strove to be as good drivers as she did. Still, it was fun pulling out all stops and showing the Equalists what driving really looked like.

What was really nice, though, was seeing real bending in action right in front of her. It was different from at the arena, when the Equalists had attacked. Asami wasn't really in the right position to get a good look at what Korra was able to do before they had left. Now, though, she had a front row seat to all of their attempts to stop their quarry from escaping. Mako was particularly impressive to watch, mostly because he made even _lightning_ bending took easy. Asami wondered how long it had taken him to learn the skill. It was frightening and beautiful all at once. Not because she feared he would hit her or anything of the sort, but it was the knowledge that even she had that kind of power within her, just waiting to be used. It looked so pure, so cold and Asami wondered just how many triad members had the ability to unleash such a massive amount of power on innocent people like her mother.

Of course, that was probably very unfair to contemplate. Mako wasn't a member of any triad. Although they had probably taught him the skill to begin with, it wasn't like he was using it to hurt innocent people. In fact, it was people like her father who were hurting people with electricity, ironically. They liked to say that bending was destroying the world, but Asami wondered if her father would have even been inspired to create the glove she had stolen if not for bending in the first place. That was surprisingly hypocritical of him.

That was what probably made the glove so cathartic to use in the end. It was all too easy to shock the Equalists that tried to attack them in her car. They hadn't known how to react to her, they had all been so prepared to fight benders that they hadn't known how to fight back against someone using their own tools against them. That was something interesting to file away. Perhaps her bending block might _actually_ be useful for something after all. Still, she knew Korra probably wouldn't accept that as an excuse to try to get out of practice if she ever had the motivation to use it. Asami got the feeling that her new friend was _very_ stubborn. She wouldn't allow her to give up very easily. Although, Asami was feeling oddly hopeful for once. She had gotten much farther with Korra's help than she had even been before. Hopefully that was a sign for things to come.

If only everything else looked as good as the state of her bending. 'Team Avatar' had managed to capture the escaped Equalists, much to the dismay of Tarrlok. Asami wasn't sure what his vendetta against Korra was, unless it was simply about how Korra had quit his task force. If that was the case, then the man was acting like a child. There were far more important things to worry about, such as stopping a terrorist group attacking the city. This was probably why Asami had foregone politics in favor of concentrating on Future Industries. She had more important things to worry about than the egos of politicians.

Ultimately it was Tarrlok's ego that had got her here in jail, a place that Asami admittedly never expected to end up. She knew that her family was very influential. It was pretty ironic that her father made the Equalists sound like a group intent on helping the downtrodden when he was probably one of the most important men in the city. _If_ she had gotten herself in a mess similar to this only a week ago, it probably would have been simple to get out of. Granted, the corruption of the police had probably been partly responsible for this mess in the first place. Still it was silly that all the Equalists had managed to do so far was make the city frightened enough to discriminate even more against non-benders than they already were. She wondered if that was part of their plan.

It was no good. It seemed thinking of practically anything made her focus on her father and the Equalists. Asami wondered why she couldn't get away from those thoughts. She knew she looked up to what her father could do and what kind of man she had _thought_ he was. It was probably only natural, he was her dad, but that didn't make anything any easier. In fact, it made it all even harder for her. She didn't want to think about just how painful it was to realize who he really was, to contemplate how he had been lying to her for years. Hiding who he was, likely because he had known on some level that Asami could never accept what he was doing. Of course, it wasn't as if her father could ever accept in her in return simply because she was a bender. So, they were even in that respect.

If that were the case, Asami supposed that there was no reason to do things halfway. If he was going to hate her so much, she might as well get it over with. It wasn't like he was going to be happy with her _choosing_ not to bend. Asami wondered if her father would have gotten her ' _cleansed_ _'_ by Amon if she had the lack of strength in order to join him. The thought of it made her sick. Asami had seen what had happened to the Wolfbats first hand. The act hadn't looked painless in the slightest. She wasn't afraid of pain itself however, just the thought that something so intertwined with her, even if she was avoiding it the fact remained that her bending was always there, could be ripped away from her without her permission.

That was probably why the benders in the city were so afraid. She wondered if Korra and the boys were afraid of the Equalists as well. Asami really couldn't blame them if they were. The entire group was sick and they needed to be stopped. Which was why Asami felt even more determined to do everything that she could to help. And that probably involved finally getting past her block. It didn't seem fair to her that she had this power she could use to truly help in making the city _actually_ equal and she was acting like a coward. Running away from something that most people were lucky to be born with. All because she was afraid of something that had happened years ago as well as what her insane father could think of her if he found out.

He didn't deserve to have an opinion, right? Asami didn't ask for this, she didn't ask him to join the Equalists or to turn on the city. She only wanted to help him build Future Industries into something great, to by and large utterly leave the closest competition in the dust. She wanted to be a family, especially after having lost her mother. She knew what loss was, there was no way to ever get her back. And then he had the gall to take himself away from her. Asami sometimes wondered if she should hate him for what he was doing. Did she want to hate him? He would certainly deserve it, but did that make her any better than he was? He was going to hate her if she could ever find the courage to reveal herself publicly. He had made himself perfectly clear over what he thought of benders. But if she hated her father, would they really be so different?

At that moment, Asami wanted something, _anything_ to get her mind off of all of this. She didn't want to think about any of this any longer. It was too painful and too fresh and she knew that she could never really get the answers to any of these questions. Just like always. Asami felt like she was forever plagued to be followed by unanswerable questions sometimes and she often wondered what she must have done in a past life to deserve them. But then, that was silly, however Asami knew that wasn't the least silly thing she had ever thought. It seemed her mind was determined to be illogical when it came to issues like these.

At any rate, there was nothing for her to do in here. She wondered if that was by design. The police hadn't seemed fond of her when they had booked her. Asami had made certain to express her displeasure at this blatant show of corruption by glaring at the photographer when they were getting her mug shot. This was all so foolish. What crime were they going to charge her with, she wondered? What crime were they going to charge _anyone_ they had arrested tonight with? From what Asami could tell, all the police had managed to arrest were innocent people protesting the lack of power in their homes. Apparently violating an utterly stupid curfew law that would probably do nothing to actually affect the Equalists themselves. Instead turning more non-benders against the city. And probably making them even more sympathetic with the Equalists in the process. Tarrlok really was pretty stupid. It was because of him and his fear mongering that dozens of people were in jail tonight instead of their own homes and probably why Asami didn't have so much as a dictionary to keep her company in this drab, boring cell.

Granted, there was always _one_ thing she could try…. Asami just didn't know if she was ready to do this on her own. She and Korra had only gone through one lesson and although Asami had slowly become more comfortable with touching the relatively tiny flame in front of her and gently manipulating it, what she was thinking of was much different. Not only that, but it had also been twelve years. Asami had long since lost the innocent and childlike instincts she had that day in her mother's garden. Or at least she thought she had. It wasn't as if she had gone looking for them for some time. They _could_ still be there in some capacity. Or they could have long since been consumed by the burning fear that has taken up residence within her along with everything else related with her bending.

Though… that wasn't completely true, was it? Korra had shown her that there was still a very curious part of her waiting to be noticed. Asami had finally rediscovered that part of her on her fourth attempt at manipulating the candle. After she had largely gotten over her fear and accepted that Korra was there to intervene if things became too much for her. Now if only Asami could recreate that feeling on her own and then bending could probably come _much_ easier for her. It wasn't until after she had started to feel a little more confident that she wasn't going to hurt anyone that Asami had finally started to relax and admittedly have a little fun. Of course, that just had to happen when exhaustion had finally started to flag her down. Asami wondered at her luck sometimes.

It _probably_ wouldn't hurt to just practice the breathing exercises would it? Besides, just moments ago Asami had thought she had wanted to disregard her father entirely, hadn't she? Determined to do what _she_ wanted for once. It wasn't as if anything would ultimately change, her father would probably hate her regardless. Besides perhaps her own peace of mind. Asami wondered what that had to feel like at times. There were moments that Asami was determined to not care that she was plagued by her bending block. She was an avid inventor, used to her thoughts racing through her mind, what was the difference between a block following her around compared to an engineering idea? Probably everything, admittedly. Asami just didn't want to think about the fact that she was holding herself back from progress. Something she strived for everyday and she couldn't even claim that she looked to the future in her own life. Instead, she was bound by something she had made into a ghost and had happened long ago. She was truly a coward.

And she was _so tired_ of running. Especially now when she was given a new taste of what she could have everyday if only she had the courage and strength to take it for herself. No one else could really stop her, she was getting tired of worrying about others when it came to her own bending. It wasn't theirs, or their choice, or their lives this was affecting. Not really. Especially with her mother long passed and her father determined to throw everything within his own life away along with all the people who loved him. If she truly meant that little to him, then he didn't deserve to be thought of, did he? There was nothing else for it, Asami knew she could sit here and think the rest of her laughable incarceration away, but what would be the point of that? It would still be simply be another of her attempts to avoid what should be done in favor of hiding from what _could_ happen, rather than what was.

So she sat up on the bed that was somehow even harder than the ones on Air Temple Island. It seemed Republic City didn't keep their prisoners' comfort in mind when they had designed these cells. But that thought wasn't important and was only distracting her. Asami couldn't believe how determined she was to avoid this, when she actually thought about it instead of allowing her habits to continue on and on. She took a deep breath through her nose, just as Korra had taught and released it through her mouth. She wondered at why this was so much easier when she was younger. Bending, she had discovered, could be so instinctual. Perhaps that was the reason behind it. She had yet to be burdened down by other things back then, including a trauma about her very bending, and had probably forgotten what it was like years and years ago. That was frustrating. Sometimes, Asami wondered just how different her life could be if that man had never attacked her mother for utterly no reason. She was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Asami doubted her mother had even wanted to stop him from taking anything so what had been the point? Probably violence for violence's sake. At any rate, there was no point in wondering for very long. Asami had long since decided she had never wanted to ask that man why he had done it. She didn't think there was any real closure or peace in doing so. He was a murderer and he had been caught, that was all there was to it.

If only her father had accepted the same facts that she had, and she probably wouldn't be here either. Asami realized that her life seemed to change on a dime because of choices others had made beyond her control. She could create the world's greatest engineering marvels, but she couldn't seem to keep her own life from descending into chaos. Abruptly, she realized that she had long since lost track of the breathing exercises she was supposed to be doing to keep her mind at ease. This was turning into a very poor attempt at meditation. With a huff, she tried to get back into what was meant to be a relaxing pattern.

Like always, the fire was waiting for her, the breathing helped her feel it waiting there even more than normal. However, this time Asami was determined to keep it from burning her. She wasn't sure if she wanted to touch it this time, all she really wanted to do right now was relax and prove to herself that she could at least do this much without panicking like a frightened child. Which she supposed she had been acting like for a very long time now. A part of her that refused to grow up and it was childish and weak of her. Though, she figured that this frustration probably wasn't going to help. Korra _had_ told her that firebending shouldn't ever be fueled by frustration, anger or rage. That had been what had warped the Fire Nation during the Hundred Year War. Something that had actually sounded familiar to her. Asami knew that her mother had once read a story to her about that. She hadn't ever tried to read it again. Yet another something that she had avoided in the wake of her mother's death. It was probably something she would have never wanted. Asami supposed that was another thing she and her father had in common. Both of them determined to hold on to the pain Yasuko Sato's death had caused them, forcing themselves into corners she would have never approved of had she still been here.

Wasn't it time to let go? Or at the very least come to _some_ sort of peace. It would prove that she really _wasn't_ her father, wouldn't it? That she could do what he couldn't and properly honor the person her mother had been by at least _trying_ to live her life as well as she could. Asami knew that this was easier said than done, but she also knew that she _hadn't '_ done' for twelve years so far. Not even tried. Just been content with leaving things as they were and making herself miserable for it while trying to pretend that she was happy. She was also getting tired of lying. Wasn't that also something she had been doing for years? Lying to her father by omission and lying to herself about how she felt about all of this. She just wanted all of it to finally stop. Asami knew that ultimately she didn't have anyone else to blame but herself for how she was feeling. She could make it stop by finally disregarding everyone in favor of what _she_ wanted as far as her bending was concerned.

Impulsively, she grabbed for the fire inside of her. It was aggressive and bold, far different from her earlier attempts to touch what was hiding inside of her. Was that the difference? After all, being afraid would apparently shatter the control that she wanted from what Korra had taught her. And right now, all she wanted was _real_ control. To get away from the nosedive everything had become.

But it was all so _vast._ Not quite limitless, from what she could tell, but it was nearest to her understanding of what limitless meant. Much larger than the candle was and for a moment, Asami was unsure if she could really do this. She had only been at a beginner's exercise just hours ago, there was no way she was really ready. Korra wasn't here to make sure she didn't lose control and hurt herself, to make sure the fire didn't get too big or too hot. There was no real way she could ensure she wouldn't lose control….

That was when it all started to feel exactly as it always seemed to in the end. _Burning_ and raging and growing bigger than she was comfortable with. Reacting to her fear, she realized. But could she change that? For so long, Asami had done nothing but _say_ she wanted to change, without really doing anything to actually make it so, but that was so much harder than she ever would have realized it could be. Difficult and frightening to change what had always been.

Yet, that was what she _wanted_ more than anything else. To finally make a change in her life that _she actually wanted._ Not simply accepting what had been forced upon her by circumstances beyond her control. She was getting tired of that as well, though Asami supposed that happened in everyone's lives. She was just getting tired of hers being so tragic and depressing. It took so much more than she thought it would wresting her emotions back in control of what she wanted. To gather her fear and try to snuff as much of it out as she could. It didn't completely disappear, but Asami supposed that was alright for now. She could work on _completely_ destroying it later.

Slowly, and shockingly, it began to change. The burning began to cool and the roiling was calming, probably getting soothed into submission by Asami's determination to finally do things on her terms rather than her past's. Again, Asami tried to latch onto it stubbornly, and a part of her was amused at the thought that this is probably what Korra did with her own bending. The elements were _hers,_ there was no way she was going to let any of them out stubborn her, she was the _Avatar._ At least, that was the impression she got from her new, fiery friend. She wondered if this was also a bit of how Mako must feel. The fire was there, there was no sense in letting it just sit around, acting on its own terms, there were things to do.

There were things to do. Namely, helping to stop her father and the Equalists. She _could_ probably do this without bending, yes, but Asami felt like she deserved to be able to look her father in the eye and let him know explicitly just how big of a mistake he was making by choosing the path he was on. Asami didn't care, mostly, that he probably wouldn't even realize that he was making a mistake, he probably thought he was right. She just wanted him to know that if he was going to hate an entire group of what was _by and large_ made up of ordinary, innocent people, then he could hate her too. Asami didn't want to know this side of her father, she didn't want to love this part of him. She wanted that part gone, she wanted things to be how they used to be. But if that couldn't happen, then she'd focus on this.

Fortunately, throughout her struggle, she had managed to keep her breathing under control. At least that was going her way. In her mind, Asami imagined that there was another candle, with a tiny flame flickering and just waiting for her to grab onto it. She figured that was as good a way to do this as any. As far as she knew, there were little if any rules regarding how to internalize bending, the actual techniques seemed to have order to them at the very least. At any rate, Asami figured her best chance at this was staying with what she knew and what was familiar. The last thing she needed was to make herself uncomfortable and risk frightening herself again.

Slowly, she imagined that the candle's ember grew larger, slowly filling the space she had created for it in her mind. Asami tried to be unafraid of it, convincing herself that all she was doing was being careful with it. She _was_ literally playing with fire, after all. There was sense in making sure she was in control. There was no Korra here to fix her mistakes. Asami would have to do that on her own, just like everyone else who could bend. They didn't have to rely on others to do what they could manage themselves and she was determined to take that for herself as well.

With that thought, she exhaled through her mouth once again. Only, this time was a _bit_ different. Different in that it was much, _much_ hotter and Asami came to the realization that she had _just breathed actual fire from her mouth._

It wasn't anything as impressive as Mako's display had been, but it did strike her near dumb for once. That wasn't something that happened to her often, if ever now that she thought about it. It had ultimately been such a small, little thing. A tiny display of what had been growing within her mind. But it was more than she ever would have dreamed of after determining that she was broken for so, _so_ long. If she could do this, _by herself,_ then what else could she do?

Carefully, she raised her hands in a cupping motion. As she had for her mother all of those years ago, wondering if she could do it again after so long. Again, she did the breathing exercises Korra had taught her, recognizing that they did actually calm her more effectively than anything else had in a long while. It was control that _she_ effected within herself and something she hadn't had in a very long time. On the exhale, she tried to imagine that the heat would grow from her chest, where it always seemed to live, and willed it to appear within her palms. Trying to recapture that same, joyful feeling she had shown to her mother the night everything had changed. She wasn't entirely successful. It seemed that memory would always be at least slightly tainted by the ugliness that would happen later. Still, the smallest of fires sparked into her hands and Asami was finally reminded of what it was to feel fire itself reside within the palm of her hands.

Her gasp of surprise ultimately broke the concentration she had created and snuffed the little thing out, but Asami knew it had been there, and that was enough for her. _Finally,_ she knew that she could do something, it may not be impressive or particularly beautiful as she had seen other benders create, but it was _hers_ and that was good enough. If she could do this, then perhaps she could finally regain control of what her life had turned into. Take back control from everyone who seemed determined to dislodge it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, an entirely introspective chapter for Asami. She needed to do a few things for herself here, I felt. No interruptions from anyone and working through her own opinions of what has happened in her life. By all means, she hasn't solved *everything* yet. Part of the reason this chapter is so meandering and takes its time to get to the point is because there is still a part of Asami that would rather hide from her bending, what Hiroshi has become and what she has to do about it all. I felt like this chapter needed to happen, ultimately. There's just so much that is bothering Asami and I really felt like she needed to take the time to actually try to think about it all instead of writing a change that happens spontaneously later. So much of her life happens spontaneously and beyond her control. I think she would have liked to make a change for herself, for once.
> 
> At any rate, the next chapter is probably going to see a return of the rest of the cast. It was interesting to see how far I could go without relying on another character, though.


	9. Deceived

**Deceived**

Asami didn't have long to celebrate her first resounding success, she was busted out of her cell much sooner than expected. By none other than former Chief Beifong herself. That was certainly curious, but Asami didn't get the chance to ask her about it. Beifong was already moving on to the next cell. Asami also wanted to ask her how she even knew which cells she and they boys were in. Maybe she had friends still inside the force. Asami hoped so. Despite the fact that helping Beifong was probably illegal, she was the much better police officer than Saikan and she wasn't crazy like Tarrlok. Chief Beifong was probably the least corrupt police officer Asami knew of, even if she had been upset with the woman when she had been investigating her father. She had been right in the end and the doggedness in which she had pursued the truth was admirable in a way.

Though she did learn why she was suddenly being broken out soon enough. Asami had thought that maybe this was something Korra and Councilor Tenzin had set up. But wouldn't Korra be here if that was the case? Korra was not the type of person that would want to stay behind while someone else did the work, her new friend had the habit of getting into everything.

Then Beifong dropped the truth: Korra was taken by the Equalists. And that was just so unbelievable. After everything that had happened, the Equalists had gotten the upper hand. Now that they had Korra, Asami shuddered to think what would happen. They probably wouldn't act immediately and take Korra's bending now, but that didn't mean that they should take their time in rescuing her. Asami didn't like to think of how they must be treating her. People like her father were within their ranks. He hated benders, Asami thought he probably hated the Avatar most of all. Korra was the greatest of benders, wasn't she? Their ultimate representative and she stood for all that the Equalists probably hated.

She was afraid for her friend, she didn't want to be in the Equalists' clutches herself, after all. That was the whole reason she had joined Korra and the boys on Air Temple Island. She had been afraid that her father would send for her if she risked staying at the mansion. Asami was certain that her father hadn't taken her rejection very well. He was a man that was used to getting what he wanted. Before now, Asami had always thought was an admirable trait of his. Even from the very beginning her father had realized what he wanted most in this world and given his all to achieve it. And did. Now the thought was sobering and made her really think about what he was capable of. Her father was a genius and was extremely driven. There was no telling what he was capable of.

Asami wondered if that could be said of the Equalist movement in general. Weren't they far more powerful than they had any right to be? Just how did they get this bad without anyone noticing? When did this happen? Asami didn't know, and she doubted anyone besides them knew the answer and that was a frightening thought and was probably what had the city so afraid and overreact as it had. They didn't know what to do now, they didn't know how to stop them. This was worse than the triads, they had been easy to point to and figure out how to combat if only there hadn't been as much corruption as there was. Then the city could have stopped them on their own, without a radical, terrorist movement. Hindsight always made problems easier than they were, she supposed.

They were riding Tenzin's sky bison now, searching for any clue of the Equalists' whereabouts. They had already been to city hall and that had been useless. Tarrlok had failed to keep them from taking Korra. Asami wondered if the man was good for anything. He was the one that had stirred the city into such a panic, he arrested innocent people, failed to actually do anything about the Equalists, and now didn't stop Korra's kidnapping. Neither he or the police had any idea where she could have been taken. Just what use was that task force? It didn't seem to have gotten any answers after all. What a waste.

So it was going to be up to them. Asami didn't see why not, they had just as much chance as the police did, and Bolin seemed to remember a bit of where he had been taken and that was more than they had at the very least. They were all so worried about Korra. She and Asami were just starting to get along and become friends on their own. After all that awkwardness with Mako. Korra had helped her do more for herself than she's been able to do in twelve years. Asami figured it was nothing to rescue Korra in return. She owed her so much. Bolin and Korra were obviously close friends, and so was Mako to be fair, but he was acting… differently.

She had definitely noticed. Asami didn't want to think that she was acting vain or possessive, but Mako was acting weird. At first she had thought that their banter was nothing while they were out patrolling for Equalists, but maybe that wasn't the case. They were all worried for the Avatar, but Mako almost seemed obsessed. Asami didn't want to, she didn't want to believe the worst of him, but she knew she was smart enough to see what was right in front of her. The hints that maybe things between Korra and Mako weren't entirely platonic. Even now, Mako was moving faster than they were, looking harder than they were. Was the first to jump out of Oogi's saddle as they touched down.

And maybe all of these things didn't actually mean anything. Maybe she was looking too much into it all. Taking the fact that Korra liked Mako as well and acting paranoid, but Asami didn't think so. She actually didn't _want_ to think that there could be more to Korra and Mako's friendship.

Firstly because she had already believed the worst of Korra once before. And had been so, _so_ wrong. Asami didn't want to misjudge her again. Not after Korra had proven herself above being so petty. Secondly, Asami liked Korra. She was a good person, not that Mako wasn't, but once again Korra had proven that she hadn't actually accused her father because she had something against Asami. That something being the fact that she liked Mako too. And if that was the case, then Asami doubted that Korra would suddenly do a reverse from what she had discovered.

Which only led her to believe that Mako was solely responsible for his weird behavior. If he and Korra were in a secret relationship, which she also ruled out for a third reason: Korra wore her emotions right on her sleeve. She was probably an _awful_ liar.

A part of her really didn't want to think about this. It was so unimportant in the grand scheme of things and probably more than a little petty of her. Korra could be in grave danger. No, she _was_ in grave danger. And she was more concerned with the possibility that her boyfriend liked another girl. Goodness, Asami certainly felt she was acting extremely selfish right now.

Everyone else was much more focused on the task at hand. Finding Korra; and Beifong had the best idea of where she could be. She had done that same stomping move she had used to find her father's secret tunnel. The Equalists apparently loved their secret tunnels. Asami wondered if they had been where her father had gotten the idea to build one of his own. Or if he had given them the idea. Asami liked to believe that they had caused him to fall so far, but she knew that his joining their cause could have happened at any time after her mother's death. Just how well did she know her father after all? When did he change? Was it anyone's fault but his own?

But that was something she would have to ask him someday. When all of this was stopped, and Asami wanted that more than anything. So much was riding on this. The fate of the entire city was depending on the Equalists getting stopped. Benders that were absolutely terrified now that they had been explicitly threatened. Innocent people for the most part. Asami didn't know what had made these people so hateful that they would want to make other people victims, the same as they had been forced to feel. She didn't really want to know because she never wanted to feel the same way. In a way, she had been made to feel victimized by benders, but she hadn't let that stop her in a way that harmed _other_ people. Sure, she had been afraid and too timid to be true to herself and there was a large part that still was. But she didn't want to take that out on other people. Asami didn't see the point of that. Why would she want to become like those triad members?

But that was for later. They were exploring the secret tunnel and it was leading in two different directions. Again, Mako was conspicuously the first one to suggest an action. And it didn't make much sense. How did he know which way was right? They could lose valuable time if they guessed wrong and had to double back. No one knew what the Equalists could have done or be doing with Korra. They couldn't afford to make mistakes.

“What if she isn't down that tunnel?” Asami asked. She figured someone had to.

“Then we'll search another one!” Mako shouted as he marched down his chosen path.

And that settled it in Asami's mind. Mako was near blind in his search for Korra. He wasn't even thinking of the ways he could make everything worse if he caused them to make a mistake by moving too fast. Really, Asami was surprised that no one else spoke up, but then again, perhaps they didn't want to deal with Mako and his bullheadedness.

Bolin was likely to know what was going on. After all, he knew Mako the best and maybe he had some ideas on whether or not Mako had stronger feelings for Korra than he let on. Or at least than he let on before all this because he was acting very obviously.

“Is something going on with Mako?” Asami asked him as they trailed behind the rest of the group. Asami didn't really want to think of how Mako would react if he knew she was doubting him. He'd probably become over defensive.

“What? No, I'm sure he's fine,” Bolin jovially brushed off.

“He just seems awfully worried about Korra,” Asami pointed out. Really, she didn't think even Bolin could have missed Mako's behavior.

“Well, we all are,” he answered and that was true enough, Asami supposed. Mako just seemed… more worried than everyone else was all.

“I just… do you think he has feelings for her?” That was the question she really wanted answered and she figured she shouldn't beat around the bush to get it. This issue was only distracting her from their task and she hoped that once she got to the bottom of it, she could focus that much better.

“What?! Nooo, crazy talk is coming out of your mouth!” Bolin stammered nervously, confirming all of Asami suspicions. “'Feelings for Korra,' whew that's a good one….”

“Come on, Bolin. Spill. What do you know?” Asami said as she pressed her finger into the front of his shirt. She could understand him wanting to protect his brother to a certain extent, but Asami wanted answers and she was accustomed to getting what she wanted.

“Okay, okay,” Bolin whined. “Look, there _may_ have been a time in the tournament when they _may_ have sort of kissed….”

Asami quickly let go of him as her fears were confirmed. It turned out that she hadn't been paranoid at all. But were they in a relationship, or was this a one time thing? Mako _was_ very worried about Korra right now. Far more than Asami thought he should be if he didn't like her in that way. Was it the same way with Korra? Was she a better liar than Asami thought her to be? Had they been hiding something from her? Why would Korra have helped her so much with her bending if she had done something like this to her? Was she thinking of that at all? There were too many questions and Asami didn't really know what to think right now. She was certainly hurt and embarrassed. But was she _angry_ with them? She was upset with Mako, that much she could determine. She just didn't know how much Korra was to blame for this. Mako was the one that had the responsibility of telling her, he was the one in the relationship, after all. Asami just didn't know how Korra could act like nothing had happened so easily. Was that it, then? Had nothing else happened? She would have to confront Mako at some point, she knew. A point that wasn't while they were on a rescue mission. No matter what happened, she wasn't going to get in the way of the search, Korra's safety was ultimately paramount over some boy troubles.

But it was still an unwelcome surprise. “They kissed?” Asami repeated morosely.

“Hey, I was upset too, believe me. But I got over it, I'm sure it was nothing,” Bolin said brusquely.

“I doubt that,” Asami scoffed. No, if it meant nothing, then Mako wouldn't be nearly as obsessed as he was. He wouldn't have been practically chomping at the bit and gambling with his stubborn ideas on how to coordinate a very time dependent search.

Bolin looked like he wanted to argue, but they were interrupted by the sound of motorcycles. They all hid while two Equalists rode up and conveniently revealed _yet another_ secret entrance and Asami wondered just how they built a secret network of tunnels right under the city without anyone noticing. Not that she had much room to talk, though. Her father had built one right under her home and she hadn't so much as blinked. The Equalists were certainly clever, she had to admit.

It didn't take long for them to follow. This had to be where they were keeping Korra. Why go to the trouble of hiding something so badly if this wasn't their main headquarters? Asami wondered if she would see her father here. Wouldn't that be a sickening coincidence? She wondered if he would try to stop them. Probably. Then she wondered if he would try to capture her in a sick idea of protecting her, not knowing that she was the very thing he wanted to keep her 'safe' from. That was what she was afraid of, to be honest. His reaction when everything came to light. Asami finally conceded that she couldn't hide forever. It wasn't healthy and she didn't think she could bear this for much longer. He was going to learn of her bending eventually, she didn't know when. Hopefully after all of this was over, but of course that would be the coward's way out. Then she could avoid having to bend during this terrorist movement and so, _so_ many benders didn't have that luxury of keeping their abilities a secret. Like Korra who was currently captured and may have been debended already.

They would find out soon enough. It hadn't been difficult to find the prison section, it seemed this really was the Equalists' main hideout. They kept everything here. Asami spotted many supplies and mechasuits as they made their way to the prison complex. And it was clear that the Equalists didn't expect anyone to follow them down here. There weren't many guards, Beifong took care of the first two all on her own as she, Mako and Tenzin rushed the stairs to look for Korra and Beifong's missing officers. Leaving Asami and Bolin to look after the captured guards. She hoped they found Korra, there was no way that they could stay here for long without being discovered.

“Seriously, I don't think it was anything,” Bolin insisted while they waited.

“We don't know that for sure. Maybe that's why Mako is acting like this. Could he and Korra be-”

“Whoa! Whoa, no, no, no. That's not happening, Asami. I _promise._ I mean, I spend the most time with Mako out of anybody and I'm with them during practice. I know that's the first and last time they kissed. Besides, I _may_ have possibly _maybe_ freaked out about it when I found out. Mako didn't like that and we sorted everything out. No dating Korra. It would ruin the team and then there's you to think about and everything got so messy…. Korra doesn't need that stress right now either and she hasn't done anything since. They both kinda left it alone,” Bolin explained hurriedly.

Asami supposed Bolin had a point. He may not notice everything that happened around him, but he'd probably notice Mako sneaking out at night, especially since they had rooms right next to each other on Air Temple Island and the walls were literally made of paper there. And they had shared an apartment before that while they were playing in the tournament. So, Bolin was likely right about them. And that made Asami feel a little better about all this. It at least meant that Korra hadn't been lying by omission while they had been training together. Asami didn't know why, but she felt like that moment was very special and she didn't want it ruined by the thought that Korra was hiding something that would hurt her like that.

“I guess,” Asami conceded. “I still don't like the way Mako's been acting, but I guess what really matters right now is finding Korra.”

And that was when the others returned. With only the officers. Korra wasn't here. Why, what had they done with her then? Were they keeping her somewhere else?

“What happened?” Bolin asked. “Where's Korra?”

“She's not here,” Mako growled angrily.

“Tarrlok has her, come on!” Tenzin yelled as the alarm started blazing. It seemed they needed to get out now so they could confront Tarrlok about this. Asami didn't know how Tenzin had come to this conclusion, but all things considered, Asami didn't think the man was above doing such a thing. It was clear that he hated Korra for daring to do things that he was obviously too inept to do himself and he was in the habit of illegally detaining people anyway. She'd ask Tenzin to explain later, when they all weren't at risk for getting captured.

They quickly made their way back to the rail car as Asami took the controls. It was something to make her feel useful during all of this. Maybe if they found Korra, Asami could show her what she had been able to do inside her cell. Maybe she could learn something more effective for fighting. As it was, Asami could only produce small amounts of fire. She wasn't yet confident enough to create a whole lot of it, but maybe that would come with time. She hoped so.

The Equalists were close to pursue, intent on recovering their prisoners and catching the people that had found their hideout. Asami didn't want to think about what would happened if they were caught and they found out just who they had. Tenzin was a councilor and one of the last airbenders and Beifong, while no longer chief, she was still probably very influential in this city, especially with any police that were left and weren't in Tarrlok's pocket. And then there was herself. Just how upset would her father be once he had her in his custody? She was helping fight the cause he was so passionate about. One he was convinced he was absolutely right in fighting for, much to her dismay. One that he thought her mother would have condoned and that made her sick to think about.

A crunch behind her let her know that the Equalists following them had been taken care of. But not the ones waiting at the beginning of the tunnel. The mustachioed man she had attacked along with her father was leading them. There were so many, Asami didn't think they had a good chance at escaping by fighting through them.

Beifong took care of that problem, though. Forcibly creating a new tunnel for the rail car to smash through. They were free, but they still hadn't found Korra and Asami was wondering how they would if Tarrlok had her. He had covered his tracks well. She didn't think he'd just admit to doing it if they confronted him about it. The man was a slimy liar and wouldn't willingly admit to something as awful as kidnapping easily. Especially if it would ruin his career.

“We need to get to Oogi and back to city hall. There's no telling what Tarrlok could be up to right now,” Tenzin said seriously.

“How do you know he has her?” Asami asked as they ran towards the sewer opening that had led them to the Equalist compound.

“He was the last person that had seen Korra before she had disappeared. And if the Equalists didn't take her, then someone had to set up that evidence and Tarrlok was the only one we found at the crime scene. If the Equalists didn't attack him, then why would he lie about it? No one else has a motive for take Korra either, it had become clear that he and Korra did not get along after she quit his task force. She was impeding his plans for his task force,” Tenzin listed off.

They were all very good reasons and Asami was quick to agree with his conclusion. Tarrlok had set them up, knowing that they could get captured by the Equalists if they managed to find their hideout. What a despicable man, Asami couldn't believe that he had the power he did, clearly he didn't know how to properly use it. Perhaps it was men like him that had ruined the city in the first place.

Tenzin urged Oogi to go as fast as he possible could once they all climbed on. They had to hurry, Tarrlok would catch on that they knew eventually and potentially do something worse to Korra than he already had. If he could forcibly take her just for disagreeing with him, Asami didn't want to know what he'd do if he felt like he was cornered.

City hall was simple to get to from the air, and the entire group dismounted to try create a plan to find Tarrlok and force him to give them Korra's location. Saikan and the other councilors were already there, Tenzin had stopped and taken _just_ enough time to call them along the way.

It didn't take long for everyone to greet each other, Asami wanted them to skip the pleasantries and inform them of what was happening. There was a completely corrupted councilor running rampant in the city, surely they could all say hello later. Of course, that was when Tarrlok decided to show up again, which was actually very convenient and probably the most helpful thing the man has done in a long while.

“Any luck in the search for Avatar Korra?” Tarrlok asked easily. Asami wondered just what it took for someone to learn how to lie as easily as he could to so many people.

“Yes,” Tenzin replied tersely. “We tracked down the Equalists, she wasn't with them. You planted the evidence, didn't you?! _You_ took her!”

“What?!” Tarrlok feigned innocence and clutched at his chest. “I'm appalled that I could be accused of such an evil act!”

Asami thought he was laying the act on a little thick. They all knew the truth now, surely Tarrlok realized that he couldn't hold up this feeble defense for much longer.

“It's true!” A squeaky voice rang out. “I saw him kidnap Avatar Korra! I was here last night, but Tarrlok ordered me to leave. Before I could leave the building, I saw him put Avatar Korra in the back of a truck.”

A small man appeared, leaning around one of the giant pillars that lined the building. He seemed to be nervous and frightened. Of what, Asami didn't know. Maybe Tarrlok, the man could easily work for him.

“What?! That's not true!” Tarrlok angrily protested. “Everyone knows you're just a squeaky voiced liar!”

Well, if that didn't make him look guilty, than Asami didn't know what would. She hadn't seen very many people childishly overreact like that in a while.

“What made you wait till now to fess up?” Beifong asked, ignoring Tarrlok completely.

“I was afraid to tell because of what I saw,” The man stammered. “Tarrlok is a bloodbender! I saw him bloodbend Avatar Korra!”

Everyone gasped, they all knew what bloodbending was, even Asami who admittedly hadn't taken much time to learn everything about it. It was one of the most egregious forms of bending there was, using a person's very blood to control their bodies. It was illegal to practice in Republic City and it made Asami shiver knowing that Tarrlok could have used the skill on someone plenty of times before now. And had on Korra, apparently.

Tenzin and Beifong both prepared to go on the offensive.

“Don't make this worse for yourself,” Tenzin warned. “Tell us where you've taken Korra!”

Tarrlok was looking at them all with wild eyes, probably knowing that everything was over for him now. Bloodbending was treated very seriously in Republic City, one of the few crimes that couldn't get bought off, his career was over, to say the least and not even mentioning the prison time he'd probably get both for bloodbending and kidnapping Korra.

Then again, apprehending Tarrlok would be too easy. It took him only a few moments to take control of everyone and Asami experienced one of the most painful things she ever had the misfortune of feeling in her entire life. Bloodbending actually surpassed its reputation, she found out and she did not like the feel of it in the least as she passed out with the others, knowing that they had failed to rescue Korra. Tarrlok was surely going to go to her, and do who knows what.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Asami's account of the events in Out of the Past. Sadly, there isn't any more progress with her bending in this chapter, but I hope to get back to that soon. And I had to address some love triangle stuff, unfortunately Asami's break ups with Mako are rather painfully drawn out and do her a lot of damage that she internalizes, because she doesn't really take her emotions out on anyone when Mako treats her badly. Which is cool of her, but there's probably more to what she feels than what she shows us on the outside, girl's going through a lot of shit right now, Mako's shitty behavior is like a shit cherry on a donkey-poo cake. Oh well, next chapter gets even more into the plot, the interesting, "oh damn, everything's going down!" part of the plot. Asami is quickly going to have to make some decisions if she wants to help her friends win what's quickly devolving into a war.
> 
> Also, I know my dialogue is off for the canon scenes. I decided to kind of use my own, that's really close to what's actually said, without repeating stuff word for word. I just couldn't stubborn that process right now, ugh....


End file.
